My Dear Molester

**NOTICE** This may be triggering for some to read.  This is written in honor of my (sadly) many friends who have been molested.  Both male and female.  I have tried to get into their heads, from what they have told me and other research I've done, and this...this is the result.

My dear (not dear) molester,
What you did to me changed my life forever.  I was only 2.  I was only 5.  I was only 6.  I was only 7.   I was only 12. I had that glow of innocence in my eyes up until that moment when...you touched me...you showed me your genitals...you touched my genitals...you watched me bathe.
I never realized how terrible your actions were until I was older...what you did scared me right from the start...I was so confused....
I've never understood your actions, Daddy...you're supposed to protect your little girl from men like you.  I never understood why you did it, Dad...I'm your son...you're supposed to be my role model.  I don't know why you did it...you were my best friend...we were the same age.  Were you used too?  Big brother?  I know you were hurt...but why hurt me?  Uncles aren't supposed to do that....
Now, I was the lucky one.  Momma caught you.  But I wasn't so lucky...you still come home for Thanksgiving.  I still see your face every day, but I think I've forgiven you.  You're gone, you've served your time...but I fear the day that I might see your face again.
I remember how you touched me, and where...but what happened before, after, and in the middle...I don't remember....  Just bits and pieces here and there.  After all, you had me in your grasp just a few months...then were gone.  But not me...I lived with you until I was twelve.  Every day, a pawn in your grasp.
You've made me feel dirty.  You've made me feel used.  You've made me feel emasculated...guys can't get raped or molested.  But yet...I was.  You've broken my spirit and damaged my soul...you have crushed my heart and being.  My days are filled with a one word question...one word alone...that word is "why".
I'd like to say that I'm responsible for my actions...but yours have ushered the way for mine.  The way I used my girlfriend, because that's how you've taught me love.  To love her means to dominate, which is the only way I can regain my masculinity.  Me?  I didn't understand my actions, or why I felt this way.  I if I had, I never would have let him use me that way.  I never would have tried to touch my cousin.  I never would have started pornography.
But something I can't help is my emotions and the side effects that come.  Depressed.  Anxious.  I need control...I need someone to be in control.  I cringe when my father tries to hug...because of you.  When my husband tries to kiss my lips, I involuntarily duck my head.  I can't stand intimacy, even in marriage....
I've had more than one molester.  Apparently that's common.  First you, then you, and you, and you.  Together you've crushed my spirit.  I've learned that no is just a word, and there is no weight behind it.  No I would not like that there.  Never mind, it's already there.  No, I wouldn't like a kiss.  Never mind, you missed my words.  No please, no, don't touch me there.  I guess that my no means nothing now.
It's hard to explain why what you've done has hurt me so and still today.  It's kind of hard to explain to someone who has never felt this way that the reason why I still hurt now is because what you've done has broken something like a bone, but instead of being set the way it should, it's healed crooked, and will always ache.
But how have I dealt with what you've done?  My arm is ribbons...I've turned to drugs...I've turned to Jesus...I have support...oh look, I've got an STD, because again, I thought that that guy loved me.  Girl after girl I molest in my grasp, the way you used me when I was young.  But what about me?  I'm a ghost.  I'm dead.  I couldn't handle it, and I didn't live.
So...my dear (not dear) molester...I just wanted you to see...that the things you've done have affected me, more than we either could have seen...and I don't know if you realized what your actions would bring, but I know I made excuses for you.  I know I tried to say you didn't know, I know I tried to say, "Well, it happened to them too."  I have excuses on why it wasn't that bad, and excuses to why it "doesn't hurt", but all of that's a lie.
It hurts.  It stings.  It burns.  I AM PAIN.  Perhaps I'll heal, perhaps I won't...I just wanted you to know...when you used me the way you did, our lives entwined and your actions have changed my life today....
Sincerely,
Your Victim A survivor

I'm Where I'm Meant to Be

Today at my night church, we had missionaries from Hungary speaking about their ministry, and naturally, as we do every time we have guests, there was food afterward.  A lady at my church asked if I was still attending the Bible School...to which I said no, I am currently attending FHS.  She later asked if I miss IBS...and I said "no, not really".  She seemed shocked.
Yes, I am happier at my secular school.  Let me give you a quick rundown of a few things that would never have happened, had I not begin attending FHS.

1. I would never have met Alex.
2. Alex never would have told me what church he attends.
3. I would never have tried out for the musical.
4. I would never have had a practice that entailed me missing my night church.
5. Because I never would have missed that night church, I never would have stopped by Alex's church to see how I liked it.
6. Had I never stopped by his church to see how I liked it, I never would have found a church to attend on Wednesday night.
7. Had I never found a church to attend on Wednesday night, I never would have found my new Sunday morning church.
8. Had I never began going to that church, I would not be baptized today.

Sadly, I wasn't getting anything out of my regular morning church.  I love the people and talking to them and all that...but I wasn't getting anything spiritual out of my previous morning church.  I get a ton out of this church.  And that's just one example!

When I switched schools, my stepdad said, "Katie, I feel like you're supposed to be here for someone."  Maybe I was supposed to be there for me.  Because despite having chapel every day at IBS, I feel closer to God now.

Maybe it's because when you have something every day, it becomes mundane, boring, pointless...but when you have it only a few times a week, it becomes more sacred and special.  Who knows why?  All I know is my personal experiences.

I've met so many people at this school, and have been part of so many activities that I'm almost positive that I was in more of the activity pictures than students who have been attending the Fredonia district schools their entire life.

It seems that every step I take, God reaffirms that this is where I'm supposed to be and that I'm doing what he wants me to do and I'm grateful for that.  I'm so thankful for my church family and I enjoy our youth parties, and banters and Wednesday night Bible Studies that always somehow go off on rabbit trails and wind up with us learning about...well...a great variety of things.

I'm grateful for the friends I've made, and the people that I get to talk to on a regular basis.  I'm happy that I get to drag my friend, Kalli, to the library every week or so.  I'm happy for the neighbors who have invited me to come visit whenever I'd like....  Quite frankly, I'm happy.  I'm very happy with where I am, what I'm doing, and other than like all humans who need to constantly be improving, who I am.

~Katie

"Real Women"

Real women have curves!  Right?  Which implies that unless you have curves...you're not a real woman....  Of course, that excludes all naturally twiggy women.  I have no idea what they are, but they're obviously not real women.  Are they women at all though?  To find the answer to that question, I went to the dictionary.  And here is what it told me:
"an adult, human female".
Well...that's a tad vague...I mean... what does that even mean?  It says nothing about curves, or lackthereof.  MAYBE if I looked up the meaning of real, it might make sense.
"actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed.".
Does that mean that...I've imagined all the skinny women I know?!
When I looked up "real woman definition", I was sent to this article: "real women".  It says nothing about curves either!  Of course, Urban Dictionary popped up...and because I'm typing this on my iPad at school, I couldn't pop it up, because Urban Dictionary has some...uh...moments where it's not very school appropriate.
But nothing I've found so far has said anything about real women having curves.  Maybe if I look for a scientific definition, I can find out what a real woman is.  Well, that didn't tell me anything....  But, I know from biology class that females have XX chromosomes.
Apparently, only curvy women have XX chromosomes....  Of course, with the definition of XX chromosomes, that also rules out "women" such as Caitlyn (Bruce) Jenner.
It's so confusing!  What's a real woman anyway?  Well, according to the dictionary and science, it's an adult, female human, that is not imagined, and has XX chromosomes...so...don't worry, my twig-like friends...despite what Facebook has tried to tell us, you are in fact, a real woman.  And as for you, my friends with curves...as long as you're an adult female human, that has XX chromosomes and are not imagined, you're also a real woman!
Silly Facebook...you don't know how to use a dictionary.
~Katie

Welp...I Got Baptized

So...as you can tell from the title...I was baptized!  On Valentine's Day, actually.  Have some pictures:

This one is right after I came up out of the water.  The guy on the right is Josh, my youth pastor, and the one of the left is Pastor Les, the...regular pastor...I'm not sure how to classify him.

This one is later, with Crazy Jenni and a cake they got me (seriously guys, you're way too sweet! :') )  Oh, and it's okay to call her "Crazy Jenni", we talked about this stuff.

Why did I decide to be baptized?  Well...it all started long long ago--okay, not that long ago--when I had a meeting with Josh (seen in the first picture) and his wife Abbey.  Some of the scriptures we looked at made baptism look like...well...like it's necessary...not optional.
The church I grew up in...well...they never did baptism, which gave me the impression that it wasn't necessary for salvation.  The scriptures we looked at...well...they seemed to say otherwise.
So, after that meeting, I thought for awhile, then when we had a "questions" night, for Wednesday night, I asked to talk about baptism again...so we did.
THEN...after that, I went and asked Pastor Les about being baptized and we sat in his office for over an hour talking about it and looking at scriptures...and we scheduled a meeting with him and his wife for Thursday, around 8:00-8:30.
Thursday came around, and I went over to their house around 8:15...and didn't come home until almost 11:00....
I thought for a bit after that, then on Friday, I messaged both Pastor Les, and Josh's wife, and asked for both of them to baptize me...because, well, they both directed me down that path and I wanted them both to be involved.
And...yeah....  The water was hot.  Idk what else to say....
~Katie

My First Basketball Game!

Okay, so no, I haven't seen a basketball game at all, until yesterday night....  I've been to one football game and that was because I was working concessions...and also...I only saw the tail end...where we did actually win!
But, anyway, I was at the basketball game last night, because I have been promoted to Select Singers (elite singing group at my school), because they needed more altos, so I'm singing alto.  I usually sing soprano, but I enjoy singing alto in church...so...not too different.  Oh and the reason why four Select Singers (counting myself), were there, was because we were singing the national anthem.  We sang accapella and I have heard lovely compliments about us.
So, about the game, I sat on the enemy bleacher side, because Dakota (I may have mentioned a Dakota previously, but not this Dakota.  This Dakota is a girl, and...not the other Dakota....) was filming it for the live stream and the only other person she had up there with her was the vice principal, who was acting as the announcer.  And he really does have a very good announcer voice!  I was impressed.
I feel like we annoyed a few people, because we were cheering with the student section from the other side of the gym, but hey, we gotta show our school spirit!  And hey, I've decided to share some things I learned during my first basketball game!

1. People get way too involved...like...they think that everyone is the rep sometimes!
2. Things that look like they should be legal...aren't....
3. And things that look like they shouldn't be allowed...are?!  
4. There is a lot more falling down than I anticipated.
5. It seems to be more of a contact sport than it's made out to be.
6. Those umpires have got to be in fantastic shape, because they're running all over the court, keeping up with the action and the players and they NEVER SEEM TO GET WINDED.
7. It has got to take a lot of dedication to be a coach....
8. Each player only gets five fouls.
9. It is hard for me to tell what a foul is....

So yeah...basketball....

~Katie

Electives

So...I have a friend who attends a different school than I do.  One of the classes offered at their school is Consumer Math.  This friend does not enjoy math, let alone Consumer Math, so when the new semester rolled around, she wanted to opt out of this class.  She was told she couldn't.
However, that's not the bad part about this.  The bad part is that this won't even count as a credit.  Not a business credit and not a math credit; this will count as an elective.
The reason she wasn't allowed to transfer out was not because it's full-year class.  This is what she told me: "...when I tried to explain that [an elective is not a required class], he said that it's required for this school, but it goes on your record (?) as an elective.".
If a class is required, that class should count as a credit, not an elective.  Especially not when the student has not elected to take this class, but has been forced.  If you google, "elective definition", this is what pops up:

I see...

Even at my school, we have a required class for Seniors called "Take Charge of Your Finances" (shortened to "Take Charge", by students and faculty), however, it does not count as an elective, because we have not elected to take it, it is required.  It counts as a business class.

If my friend were to switch schools, on her transcript, that class would go under either "business", or "math", but most likely math.

In the state of Kansas, which is where both of us attend school, a person is only required to have three math credits, and Algebra and Geometry need to be covered.  In other words, if someone takes one Algebra class and one Geometry class, and one other math class, they're good.  Here's the link I got that information from: Information  Considering that that came from the Kansas State Department of Education...I think they know what they're talking about.

At this school, her senior year, my friend will also be required to take something they call, "Advanced Math", which is basically Algebra2, all over again.  It will count as a math credit, but it is not something she will need and is something that she should be allowed to opt out of.  Yet she isn't.

That is not right.

To call something an elective when a student is still forced to take it, is wrong and if you consider that an elective, you need to go to back to English class and learn vocabulary.

If you want a certain class to be required at your school, go right ahead!  However, if you are going to require a class, it is not an elective.  Count it as math or count it as business, Consumer Math would fit in either one, but do not count it as an elective, because it is not an elective.

Rant over.

~Katie

Congrats to Lucy Regina!

My good friend and fellow author, Lucy Regina (this is a pen name), has finally republished her book, Seven Troubles!  I had the honor of being the editor and am very grateful to have been allowed to be a part of her publication.

To buy her book, click this link and follow the procedures: Buy Seven Troubles

To like her page and support her, click THIS link:  Lucy Regina's Facebook Page

Have a nice day!

~Katie

To My Friend, Mike

I know I already made a blog post today, but then I went to my friend, Mike's, blog and read one of his posts.  I had a comment all typed up and it wound up being rather long, so I asked if he would mind me sharing his post, with my reply on my blog and he said that that was fine....

Mike's Blog Post

And here is my reply:

Sometimes crying shows strength. The man is supposed to be the example for the woman. If her man always holds back his tears and refuses to let them show, she may feel as though she needs to do the same.
Throughout the Bible, men have cried…and not just because of deaths. Jacob cried when he was reunited with his son, I believe Jacob and Esau cried when they saw each other and were making peace, the father of the prodigal son cried when he saw his son…so much crying…all by men… If God didn’t want people (male and female) to cry, he wouldn’t have made people designed to cry.
When a person is born…usually, the first thing they do after taking a breath, is cry. When you fall down, you cry. When you laugh too hard, you cry. When you suffer a painful break up, you cry. When you grow older, when you’re extremely happy, you cry. If you’re moved emotionally at all, you cry. Crying is good and healthy and something that is perfectly okay for men, women, boys, girls, babies, teens, preteens, and any other humans I may have left out to do.
God KEEPS your tears. He keeps them. In a bottle…and in a book. Psalm 56:8– “Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?” That wasn’t just for the writer of that psalm…that was for everyone. Including men. Which includes you.
And besides all of THAT, there are plenty of healthy reasons to cry. When you cry, it releases proteins that can cause bad moods or health issues…and I know what I’m talking about, I wrote a whole essay on it my Sophomore year of highschool. If you don’t want to cry around people, that’s fine and completely understandable…but don’t force yourself not to cry or feel weak for doing so…because it’s fine. Biblically and…professionally? No, that’s not the word I mean, but you understand what I mean, I hope.
I’m very much a hypocrite for saying this, because I force myself not to cry a lot of the time…I first remember doing that when I was four…so it’s something I need to remember too. Crying is a-okay.

~Katie

I Shouldn't Be Up So Late....

I should not be up so late, but it gets my juices flowing and has made me think.  (This was started last night/this morning around 1, 2, or 3)  Chances are, I've already posted this at least once, but here it goes again.  It confuses me so much sometimes, how people can come into your life and then leave your life....I have two example I will use one of a group of friends I know in real life and one of a group of people I have never met in person, but have gotten to the point I consider them my friends.
Starting with the people I know in real life.  When I was eleven, I made friends with a girl named Christa and I called her my best friend and she called me her best friend.  But she was also a compulsive liar who made up stories.  I don't understand why people think they need to make up stories to be liked.  I mean, even if people like you because of the stories you tell, they don't really like you, they like the you that you've made up.  One week I just decided that I was going to see if she really did care about our friendship and I just waited for her to come over.  She never did and our friendship just...ended.  Looking back, I really could have handled that better.  Also looking back...how in the world were 11-12 year olds so perverted?!  I'm including her group of friends that I was involved in in this friend category.
Okay, I lied, there's going to be two groups of friends I know in real life.  This one really hurts me, because I know I really screwed up in part of this.  Shortly after my friendship with Christa ended, I made friends with a girl named Emily and shortly after that, we both made friends with Kayden.  I mentioned them a lot in the blog I had before this one: The Heartbeat of the Mission I didn't know how to spell back then....  Anyway, I have trouble balancing hanging out with two friends at once.  At least I did.  I think I've gotten better at it.  Actually, no, I haven't gotten better at it, I've just become a recluse, but that's beside the point.  As I was saying, I wound up hanging out with Kayden more than Emily of course, that was also partially because I had a crush on him at the time, but that's beside the point, because I probably would have wound up hanging out with him more anyway.  There have been times that I've wanted to tell her I'm sorry for that, but I don't know how.  So, Emily, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry.  By the way, Amanda in The Unnamed Legend was partially based off of you.  And now, I barely speak to either Kayden or Emily.  We've just drifted apart.  However, Kayden and Emily are still friends...in a way.  They're actually a couple.  Take a moment to say "awww."
Now to my friends I've never met in real life.  *sigh*  This is going to be a lonnnnnng blog post.  TO those of you who have read this far, thank you so much, that really does mean a lot to me.  When I was 12/13, I entered into the world of Facebook, Fanfiction.net, and Howrse.  I met AceTrace/Impossible Insomniac/Hannah, on Fanfiction.net, same with a girl named Emma.  They were friends with a girl named Joy and one day, I was added to a group message on Facebook (back when they had messages and not just chat and the chat was deleted shortly after you closed the chat box...a long time ago) with Hannah, Emma and Joy.  We were quickly almost inseparable friends.  We wrote each other into stories, we talked to each other all day...yeah....  Hannah had a boyfriend named Donny, whom she loved.  Or at least said she loved.  Obviously she didn't, as she had a boyfriend named Donny.  Anyway, they broke up twice and during one of these times, Joy was being especially insensitive, and well...she called me the B word, I told her I wasn't going to be friends with her and well, that ended that.
But, back to Donny and Hannah....  I had called them brother and sister and when they broke up, I felt like I was being forced to choose between them.  Note:  I was not actually ever told to choose between them, but it still felt like it.  I wound up choosing Donny.  It wasn't that hard a choice, as Hannah started going through a phase where everything was about her.  Donny and I still talk, but Hannah and I barely speak.
Now, Emma and I...well, we're still/again friends....um...it's very complicated.  She is now actually engaged to Donny, so that's...yeah...dating your ex friend's boyfriend...um, yeah, it's not that bad actually.  But, her and I have had a history of being explosive.  And it's only been within a few months ago that her and I have actually began talking, like seriously talking.
Donny and I have also had times where we barely talked.  But he is my brother and if you didn't know better, you would think he was blood.  There have been times when we've skyped and he's said something I almost said and vice versa.
But what really gets me is this:  Why do some people come into your life, then leave?  They come in, they bring their youtube videos, their jokes, their songs, books, movies, everything, then they leave...or you leave them?  Why does that happen?  And why do some people come into your life and stay?  It honestly kind of confuses me.  Probably because I try to understand everything and there's no way on earth that I could ever honestly do that....  Anyway, that was the end, thank you for reading, y'all are awesome.
~Katie :)

In Other News....

In other news aside from my long post about what I want....today was the birthday of one of my bestest friends.  Yes, I said bestest.  I've said stranger things, and I'll probably say even stranger things.  He turned sixteen, and I managed to get him embarrassed at school!  I was super happy about that.
See, we have a principal, and he has a wife, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays she comes over, and is the chapel speaker.  Well, I told her that it was his birthday, and that she should royally embarrass him.  Sadly, she doesn't know him well...she thought that he would be hard to embarrass...au contrair.  He's easy to embarrass.  Especially with things like that.
ANYWAY...we've been studying the spiritual gifts in her chapel lessons, and so she went through a bunch of people that everyone at school knows, then she called him up there, and oooooh...his face!  He was so embarrassed!  And then a senior girl decided she knew him better than me...no offense to her...but seriously, she said, "Aww, he's just so quiet!"  And I go, "Quiet?  Quiet?  Uh huh...  He's not quiet!"  "Yeah he is!"  I shake my head even thinking about it.  Quiet.  Honestly.  No one knows him well if they think he's quiet.  Maybe he's quiet in chapel...but here's a newsflash--YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET IN CHAPEL.  And maybe he's quiet in a lot of his classes.  But, you have to remember, those teachers are the less lenient.  Get to Brother Todd's class...man...you have me sometimes wishing he WAS quiet.  I mean, the talking is fine...but some of the stuff that guy says....  If I had a dollar for every "woman," or "red-head," joke, or saying he said...I would be a very rich woman.  By woman, and red-head jokes, or sayings, I'm meaning things like, "Brother Todd, this is a defective woman, we need to send her back to the factory!"  or... "why are you such a red-head?"  or... "Woman, get back to the kitchen, I need a sandwich!"  Or, "Wow, when you get mad your hair...wow, it's like flames.  Are you okay?"  Or, "Quit being such a woman!"
Of course, I always have comebacks.
Here's how they go:
Him: Brother Todd, this is a defective woman, we need to send her back to the factory!
Me: Punch, or glare, or both
Him: Why are you such a red-head?
Me:  Oh, I don't know, I was born like this?
Him: Woman, get back to the kitchen, I need a sandwich!
Me:  You know, women can be other places than just the kitchen.... *punch*
Him: Wow, when you get mad, your hair...wow...it's like flames...are you okay?
Me: *glare*
Him: Quit being such a woman!
Me: I can't help it!  I am a woman!
Him: Katie, could you be a woman and do this for me?
Me: No!  Be a man and do it yourself.
....Yet he's my best friend.  *shakes head in disappointment at self*
So, I thought letting y'all know that would be nice.
NOW!  In other, other news....
I have been introduced to a wonderfully new fandom.  New to me anyway.  It involves doctors.  No, it's not Scrubs.  Or Grey's Anatomy.  Or General Hospital.  Do you guys give up?  No, it isn't House.  Stop guessing now.  It's Doctor Who!  And it is so wonderfully addicting, and I love it, and I miss the ninth doctor, and I miss Rose, and Donna disappeared, and I love the Doctor oh so much, and I miss him so very badly.  And I'm shutting up now, so that it looks like I went to bed at a semi reasonable time.
~Katie :)

Nanu-Nanu

Okay, so I've met Mork and Mindy (in other words, a TV show called Mork and Mindy,) and I like it!  It's really cool!  It's pretty awesome, I really like it.  One of the things Mork says a lot is "Nanu nanu," it's basically his hello.
One thing I don't understand is why a girl can't be friends with a guy without everyone saying they're soooo in love, and saying they're dating, and stuff like that.  It doesn't make sense.  A guy and a girl can be good friends, without having romantic attractions toward one another.
I mean, seriously, two girls are friends, and everyone just thinks they're friends.  I mean, they can even hug each other, and say they love each other and stuff like that, and people just think they're friends.  Two guys can be friends without people thinking they're in love....unless they hug and tell each other they love each other....at least the way girls do.
But a guy and a girl can be best friends, without hugging, without saying "I love you," and yet they're so definitely madly in love.
I have two close guy friends.  Neither of which I'm dating.  Neither of which I'm madly in love with.  Neither of which I dream about–okay, I have dreams about them sometimes, but not the romantic kind.  I have weird dreams about being related to them...but that's it.– yet people say we're in love.
For example, one of my friends who lives in the town I used to live in, my family knows, and they think that I need to marry him, and bring him into the family.  He's my friend.  Just my friend.  And I honestly don't think I could survive a relationship with him...we'd clash too much.  Honestly, he infuriates me sometimes...like clashing, like...not a good relationship.
Then, I have another friend, who goes to school with me, and our classmates, and even some of the teachers say we're madly in love, flirt all the time–load of crap–and stuff like that.  I could maybe handle a relationship with him, but it's highly doubtful, because he really gets on my nerves.  There's a reason I punch him.  But we don't clash as much as the other guy and I.
Plus, I can go to one of them if I'm having trouble with one thing, and another if I'm having trouble with a different issue.
For one of them...we'll just put his initials KJN, I can go to him if I need help with something to write, and if I'm in a fantasy mood, we can talk fantasy all day long.  I know he's my biggest book fan....  I don't care what my family says...but KJN is really my biggest fan.  He gives me suggestions that I know I'll never use, and suggestions that are actually pretty good ideas....I've also promised that when I make my book into a movie he can be in the movie.  If you wanna buy the book: Paperback, Kindle edition
Now the other guy, again, we'll refer to him by his initials, GWJ...whoa, his initials look cool.  *tilts head to side like puppy and stares fascinated*  And KJN's initials look like KJV. (or King James Version)  *Tilts head to normal position* no more fascination with initials.
Okay, anyway, GWJ has also been there for me...a lot.  He's one of the first people I go to if I have a major problem.  Especially if it involves guys.  He's really really super annoying, but I know that if I have a serious issue he'll take the time to listen.  I think he feels the same way about me.  Ya know, he can talk to me about anything.
I also go to him for homework help sometimes...then again, I also go to KJN for help.  That's the upside to being behind in math.  If you can't get ahold of your math teacher, you can just call two of your friends who have gone through Algebra 1 already!  Awesome, yes?
I guess I also tend to talk to GWJ more than KJN, because I see him at school everyday, but KJN I rarely see anymore, and he's not one of those people you can call just to say hi, and then talk for an hour or so...GWJ is...that's why I call him while I rollerblade.
But see, I can talk to either one about a variety of things.
However...when it comes to straight up boy-talk...you know what I mean girls...when you talk about the guys you're in love with, and all that lovely stuff.
If I talk to KJN about it...he kinda makes fun of me, and acts all...yeah...I don't really know how to describe it...I can kind of talk to GWJ about it...but I kind of think he feels a little awkward when I do...but anyway, when it comes to guy talk, I got my friend that is a GIRL to talk to about them.
Ahh yes...it's a wonder she still loves me.  Lots and lots of guy talk.  *giggles giddily*
You know, I came readily prepared with a real topic, but this kinda took over, and now I'm off!
Until next time....
Nanu nanu.
~Katie :)

The Phone Goes Green Green, I Pink it up and Say Yellow

However, no one is calling me, so my phone isn't going green green, so I can't pink it up and say yellow...what a bummer.
I haven't gotten any pictures of my wooden stuffehz yet, I forgot, but I found an AWESOME song.  The Fox  It's absolutely amazing.  And hilarious.  And I love it.  ChachachachachachaCHOW.  It's a Norwegian song.  But it's in English, so I'm sure you could understand it.
I don't like Gangam style though....it's just...strange...I also don't like Gentleman....I basically just don't like Psy...I mean...after all...have you seen his music videos?  He looks like he's absolutely horny...so disgusting....
I prefer to stick with more awesome songs like the one that I just shared, or something like Fireflies, or something like The Last Night, or This is What Dreams are Made of, or The Long Word song....all those different songs.  Hang on, I'll post links.
Fireflies, The Last Night, This is What Dreams are Made of, The Long Word Song
Yeah, there's a bunch of other songs I love.  Dude, I love so many songs it's crazy.  Songs were probably made just for me.  Okay, probably not just me...but...yeah...I'm really glad that God made songs, because if he hadn't, I'd go crazy.  I honestly am not too sure I would be alive if it weren't for music, and songs.  I would just explode.
Do you know what I don't get?  I don't get how people think that when you spend a lot of time on the computer, you're wasting time.  People who make movies spend a lot of time on computers, yet people love them.  There are some people who type all their stories on a computer...so they spend a lot of time on computers.  There are people on suicide prevention sites who talk to suicidal people.  They spend a lot of time on computers...would you say that that's a waste of time?  Trying to help people not kill themselves?  Teachers spend time on computers finding teaching methods, putting in grades, and finding things to do to help their students...is that a waste of time?
Just because people spend time on computers, even a lot of time doesn't mean that they're wasting time.  It would be more wasteful to stay off a computer, and only eat food, and watch movies.
Now, if you can juggle a lot of time on a computer, and time off a computer, that's good.  And if you're doing more than just watching stupid youtube videos, and playing a bunch of computer games, you're cool.
By the way, I don't recommend listening to any other songs by the people who sang "The Fox."  Turns out that there are cuss words in their other ones....I mean, for at least one of them, it would be okay except for...ya know...language.
Back to my former topic.
I spend a lot of time on facebook...mostly because that's where I can connect with people I don't get to see often.  Although, I do spend more time texting them now, because I have a phone with unlimited texting minutes.
I also don't get how people complain about teenagers texting...it's called, "you can't always actually talk to the people face to face because you live in different places."  And furthermore, you can in fact read a book and text at the same time.  I text while rollerblading.  And while doing homework.  And on my way to school.  And on my way back from school.  And...well, you get the point...I can multitask.  See, I'm ADHD, which means I don't look like I'm focused, but really, I'm focused on a lot of things at once.  Although sometimes I accidentally tune someone out when I'm trying to talk to them...it's really bad.  I will say though, that I don't easily focus on more than one thing when I'm sleeping, or reading a book.  Other than that I'm good.
I can't even just sit and watch a movie most of the time.  I have to read a book, (it's a little hard sometimes, but I can normally get the main idea of both) or draw, or eat, or do homework, or exercise. (which I've been doing a lot nowdays.)
Oh, I also got heavier thingy-ma-bobbers....dumbellish thingy-ma-bobbers.  I filled up two gatorade bottles with water, and they're heavier.  More of a challenge.  After we move to Doug's town, I might look around and see if there's a gym, and possibly join it, in addition to doing my main exercises.  I also want to join some sort of Karate, but it costs a lot.
Oh, btw, here's a conversation between me, and my friend Gavyn.
Me: Do you think I'd be good in Karate?"
Gavyn: No.
Me: Why not?
Gavyn: Because.
Me: Because why?
Gavyn: Because I don't want to die.
So, in other words, I'd be great in Karate, but Gavyn's worried I would break the Karate code of ethics and use my Karate to beat him up.  However, he's kinda right, and kinda wrong.
You see, I'd get stronger if I joined Karate, so when I punch him, I'll have more force, and I'd probably instinctively use the punches I learned in Karate, you know, after they get pounded into my brain.
However, I already use a few Karate moves.  Well, only one really.  The one where I grab his wrist, and twist his arm around so he stops poking me in the shoulder with his pencil.
Oh wow, this is a longer post than I meant to write...or even thought I could, because I didn't have much to discuss when I started it....well....
G'bye.
~Katie :)

Camp, School, and Randomness

So, I went to another camp, but this one was a general camp, you know for people from 1 day old to 201 years old, and I bunked with my cousin and one of my very best friends, and got super hyper.  On the first night, it was only my cousin and I that were able to stay, and we wrote this amazingly wonderful thing...it's known as THE STAGES OF A SLEEPOVER...and here they are.

THE STAGES OF A SLEEP OVER

1. Excitement--Attendees to the sleepover become extremely excited, and many squeals of delight, as well as giggles can be heard echoing throughout the area.
2. Preparatory--Actual preparing for the sleepover begins.  Snacks and other needed supplies are bought, and packed.
3. Show and Tell--upon arriving to sleep over, new items belonging to the attendees, as well as gifts from one attendee to the next are brought out and discussed.
4. Boy Talk--Discussion of boys, cute and otherwise ensues.  Shockingly, much teasing goes on during this stage.
5. Bedmaking--Beds are made, and we go into Preparatory II
6. Preparatory II--Ordinary everyday clothing is exchanged for PJs that should NEVER be worn to WalMart.
7. Emergency Survival/Snacks--Room is made more comfortable with the aid of T-shirts, and blood sugar is raised (so you understand, we had one room with an airconditioner that had huge gaps on either side, so we stuffed the T-Shirts in there, and my cousin is a diabetic and her blood sugar was at 46 which is bad)
8. Storytime--Random stories from our lives are shared, and giggles are uber abundant.
9. Heart to Heart--Nothing like mouth to mouth, but where personal stories, feelings, and dreams are shared openly.
10. Boy Talk 2--Not unlike #4, but attendees discuss boys they have strong dislike for.
11. Giggaloza--Generally takes place around 2 or 3 AM.  Giggles follow giggles, follow giggles, for no apparent reason whatsoever.
12. Creativity--Giggles are still abundant, but are less noisy.  During this stage attendees are struck with inspiration, and tend to write songs, poems, stories, and draw pictures
13. Joking--Attendees to sleepover ask each other jokingly if they will ever go to sleep.
14. Peter Pan--We realize that delirium has hit when Peter Pan appears at our window, and reminds us not to grow up...we then realize that we are nearing stage 15.
15. Decline--Activity is calmer, and yawning, droopy eyelids, and nodding heads are abundant.
16. Resistance--Sleep is banished in favor of seeing how tired we can get before turning off the lights.
17. Lights out--Lights are turned off, but whispers about *cough cough* boys *cough cough* continues.
18. Hey!--Whispers are still there, but they no longer involve boys, but rather consist of, "Hey...are you still awake?"
19. The Evil which is Sleep--The darkness claims us, and we no longer speak of boys, but dream of boys.
20. Pounding--A loud knocking ensues and through blurry eyes, and sleepy ears we see and hear the adults/alarms asking if we're awake, even through we just went to sleep 5 minutes ago.
21. Mental Hangover--We wish we had skipped the sleepover in favor of actually sleeping, but instead we sing Christmas carols loudly
22. Scolding--All involves are scolded for their late night carousing, and loud, unladylike, immature behavior.
23. Repeat--All stages must be repeated as often as possible until every attendee has either a hotflash or a husband.

The end!

And school starts in 8 days....  I'm also trying to get a job at Braum's so I can make money and get my own things!

Anyway, I gotta go

~Katie :)

I Have Returned...continued

I must say that I completely forgot about Timmy being on my team.  He was a pretty good athlete too.
Back to the girls!
Theresa: I didn't really get to know her very well, but she seemed okay.
And you guys know all about me.
I had a total blast at camp, and I met a person from the town I moved to!  Yes, he's a guy, no, I don't have a crush on him, and no, I didn't get a boyfriend at camp.  Just sayin'.
His name is Harley, but I used to always try to call him Gideon, because last year, he showed me how he drinks when he's out hunting, and it was the same way Gideon's men that he kept drank, and stuff like that.  So I had it in my mind that his name was Gideon, but it's actually Harley.  And the way I can always remember it is to think of motorcycles.
He's a pretty cool guy.  We hung out yesterday, because he was bored, and I was bored, and I had a cold, but he was okay with me hanging out with him anyway.  And then this morning, my mom and his mom (who met yesterday and really hit it off.) went on a girls morning out, and I hung out with him and "watched" his little brothers with him.  In reality, I watched him play a video game, and took a nap.  Well a sort of nap, I never really fell asleep.
His little brothers are kinda cute and funny.  They really want a free puppy from next door, but their parents won't let them get any, so they smuggled a puppy in the house, then I tried to help them take it back, and it didn't exactly work....
And now I'm at the library watching Despicable Me 2, and blogging.
And tomorrow is my first church league softball game.  It's gonna be AWESOME.  The first game was actually last week, but I was at camp.
Anyway, I wanna go write a book now.  Goodbye.
~Katie :)

At Last I Have Returned!

I'm finally back from my wonderful youth camp.  And I already miss it.  Well, maybe I don't miss camp but I do miss the people there.  I don't miss getting up early, or playing volleyball, or having to remember to turn the fan in my dorm room off.  I quite enjoyed my sleep in this morning.  I don't miss getting sunburns, or kitchen duty, or dorm duty, and I definitely don't miss prep/serve, because I have to wait forever to get to eat, which is super super sad.
I'm very hungry right now.  I forgot to eat before coming to the library.
I'm also watching a movie while I type on my lovely blog.
Okay, so back to camp....
I'll start with my team.  The sponsors were really nice.  I liked them.  And we actually had a theme song for our team :)  It was: The Wise Man Built his House Upon the Rock.  And, if we said these four verses, we would get four dollars...I said the four verses.
And my team was: Leevi, Brett (the same one I had on my first team,) Michael, Dan, Jeremy, I feel like I might be forgetting someone...but I don't think so...for the boys.  And the girls; Emma, Bridgette, Martha, Theresa, and me.  I shall now give you a short camp biography of each of my teammates.
Leevi: My friend's cousin, who can play guitar, and can play guitar behind his back, which is pretty cool, though I haven't seen it yet, but he's gonna get me a video of it someday.
Brett: He goes to my school--or I go to his since he was there before me--and he's pretty athletic and stuff like that.
Michael:  He's a little guy, but he's actually 14, and he's kind of sweet, but no, not that kind of sweet so you know, because I don't like him like that.
Dan:  College guy, from Penn View Bible Institute, tall, dark, and handsome would be a good way to describe him and his eyes are amazing.  Although, I will also say that he's got a girlfriend who flew to...Romania I think.  He's also a good athlete.  If we were allowed to vote on college guys for the All Stars Game, I would totally vote for him.
Jeremy: He's the most awesome guy ever.  He was homeschooled his whole life, and is from Union Bible College, and he's the lead singer, and was afraid he was going to have a bad cold which would be bad if he was the lead singer.
For the girls:
Emma: A pretty good athlete, and the niece of our sponsors.  And stuff like that.
Bridgette: She's one of my best friends at camp, and she's a good therapist, and she's really good at giving shoulder massages too.  I wanted to kidnap her and bring her with me and stuff.
Martha: She's a really sweet girl.  So sweet.  Kind of quiet, and she gives the air of a shy bookworm.  Although I like bookworms.  She gave the most amazing testimony.
...to be continued do to library closing...
~Katie

Dancing Cucumbers

Hey people!  I'm at the library (big surprise huh?)  and there's this awesome lady at the next computer over that seriously looks like an author, but she said she isn't.  Maybe she's an undercover author.  Or an author with amnesia, and has forgotten she's an author because of a wicked wizard who has distorted her brain...I should write a book about that.
Anyway, thought I'd let y'all know that...I...might...just...have...a...job!!!
I'd be a waitress, or a waitress helper, and it'll be AWESOME!!!  I'm pretty excited.  Plus I'll finally have some sort of income!  You have no idea how happy that makes me!  I cannot survive on no income.  I'm an independent sort of girl.  I can't go running to people every time there's something I want/need.  I want/have to be able to buy it myself!  If I can't, it'll drive me absolutely batty!
Okay, so I figured that I should just go ahead and share some of my summer goals...so maybe I should rename this post, as it has absolutely nothing to do with cucumbers, dancing or otherwise....  Nah, I'm just weird that way, anyway, here goes, in no particular order.

• Read a book everyday, and if I don't, I can't get on a computer at the library, or any other library. (the books I've read so far have been 1. Gracelings 2. Unlocked 3. And suddenly I don't remember them all, but a lot of them are fantasy :p
• Get a job.  I appear to have done so.
• Publish another book.  It's finished, just needs editing, and a cover, then it will most likely be published....
• Write and film a movie.  I have the movie written, and I have almost everyone I need but a thug for the actors...now all I need is to go back through edit the movie script, and find locations to film at.  I should look up making a movie on google or something and figure out a few more little things or something.
• At school my English teacher wanted to know our plans for the summer, including family plans...so...I plan on NOT starting a family this summer.
• Sell something at the farmers market
• I thought I had more but I guess that's it...

Alright, I'm gonna get back to writing now.  Talk to y'all later.
~Katie :)

At The Library

I've finally managed to get on a computer at the library, and the sad part is that I have to get reaquantied with the keyboard....  Not too much as I'm noticing, because keyboards are very hard to forget.
I can finally tell you guys some more in actual details, instead of just "Hi.  I'm fine.  I hate tablets.  I got to do this that and the other.  Okay, I'm tired of typing on a tablet now, so g'bye."
No pictures for now, but I can tell you this much:  I got a baby!!!  He's a kitten named RJ.  My grandma found him a few weeks ago after Katy Days, which is a celebration of the Katy Railroad, and so my mom and I took him in because we love kittens, and all other kind of animals.  The funny thing about Katy Days is that my name is Katy.  Katy Days was amazing!  Not only do they focus on the railroad, they also have a bunch of stuff from old timey days.  Like old typewriters!!!  I spent idk how long on the typewriters.  I love them.  They weren't electric, the ones I spent my time on, but there was one that was electric.  I didn't like it.  I don't like electric stuff when it's supposed to be non electric.
Must tell you quickly though, that I only have until my mom comes back from the storage unit to type to you lovely people.
I also made a friend!  Her name is Zena, and I first met her at Youth Group, but then I saw her as I was rollerblading (which I do on a regular basis just so you know) and stopped to say hi.  I also gave her a hug, because she wasn't at Youth Group the previous Wednesday.  Then we found out that we're both entirely crazy, insane, and awesome.  And she might be going to Youth Camp with me!
Speaking of which...it's coming up soon and I'm excited!!!
Boys, girls, friends, foes, church, people here and there, and food!
And my mom is here, so I gotta go.
~Katie :)

A Post At Last

Blogging on a tablet is pretty hard.  But yeah, I have a baby, he's an orphaned kitten.  I also have a new baby cousin.  Her name is Jade, and I got to hold her. :)
I hate blogging on a tablet, so I'll tell you of my awesome friend Zena lata.
~Katie :)

Rawr Be to Thee

Hey peeps. I promised my friend Ronda that I would make a post for her...and that's what this is.  I love you Ronda!  No one could ever sever our friendship, and no distance could keep us apart. We have been friends since I was seven...which is about eight, almost nine years...if a friendship can last that long...well, I betcha it could last even longer.
The same goes for my other friend, Kayden, and my other friend Karen, although I haven't known you guys as long as I have known Ronda, our bonds are strong, and I love you both, and you both make me laugh, and brighten my day, and keep me gong.  Without you three awesome people, I have no idea where I would be in this life.  A lot more depressed I can tell you.
Aside from my thingy to friends...I moved.  I am no longer a Kansan, but an Okie....
Today I went rollerblading across town.  All the way across.  Pretty fun, I feel invigorated.  I was pleased to discover that the roads here are good for rollerblading.  When you get on the other side of town, it gets a little rougher riding though.  I also found a hill that is fun to go down.  Less fun going  up, but fun going down.
I know that this is random..but my eye itches.
Anyway, I'm gonna run off...
~Katie :)
P.S. it might interest my readers to know that I am on the a and b honor roll in school ;)
I also thought you might want to know that I'm gonna be checking the comments, because of a spammer.

Picture Me This, Picture me That, Picture Me Dipptidy DEE!!!

Well, I'm gonna do some pictures today...hence the strange post title....  Anyway...let's start with my outfit today.  I know I haven't done that many pictures lately, because of the crashed computer, but today...yeah....
I present to you...my outfit!

Full view of the outfit in all it's interesting glory.

The "skirt" is actually a sleeveless open back dress, that I would feel horribly insecure in if I didn't wear something over/under it.  I got it at the local thrift store.  As for the shirt that's been worn over it, I got that for free at my school.  The socks I got at WalMart, and yes, I am quite aware that they don't match.  You may be interested in knowing that I also don't care that they don't match.  The headband I made.  I made it out of ducttape and two hair band thingys.

Just another picture of the outfit.  It may interest you to know that I bought the dress because it was all hypnotical and stuff.  CRAZY!  Psychedelic and stuff.  I love it.

I moved outside.  And no, I'm not wearing shoes.  I'm at my grandparents, and I rollerbladed over there, and didn't take shoes.

You can't tell me what to do.  I will just look off to the side, and ignore you.

And that's my outfit.  I mentioned my field trip, did I not?  Well, it may interest you to know that my friend Gavyn and I fight like cats and dogs...so this picture was the perfect description of our "relationship."

Now don't we look like best friends?

Me standing underneath an elephant head on our field trip.

This statue thingy just enchanted me...so I took a picture of it.

I'm sitting in a chair...kinda sprawled out.

The inside of an oil drillers kitchen...I think....  The pies aren't real though, so I don't get to eat them :'(

I mostly took this picture for the horses.  I'm bigger on swords and horses than guns.

This picture was definitely intended for the horse, 'cause there's nothing else in the picture xD

AIRPLANE!!!  Yeah...I'm done with the field trip pictures now.

Actually...I think I'm just plain old done for now.  I guess I'll talk to my awesome readers next time I talk to them...wow that sounded super stupid.

Oh and check out the blogs on the side of my posts and stuff...I'm loving Fresh Modesty.

~Katie :)