**possible trigger warning**
One of my favorite books, and now favorite Netflix shows...is 13 Reasons Why. And I will never recommend it to someone.
13 Reasons Why is a story about a girl named Hannah Baker...who kills herself. Why? She leaves 7 cassette tapes, with 13 recorded sides, following the line of events that led her to believe she couldn't go on.
It started with small things...a jerk who told everyone he fingered her in the park. A jerk who slipped his phone up her skirt and took pictures of her panties. A girl who was her friend who turned on her, all because her boyfriend tried to make her jealous.
A list that suddenly drew attention to her butt (Best/Worst list, and she had "Best Butt"). A list that drew a guy to think he had the right to grope her butt in public.
She got a reputation she didn't deserve. She was given a reputation as a slut. As being easy. She went on a date with someone, because she thought he would be nice, she thought she would be able to brush aside the things that were making her unhappy and depressed, but when, in the middle of the cafe, he started sliding his hand up her thigh...she told him no. But he didn't stop. People in that cafe knew what was going on...but they didn't try to stop it.
In all this...there was another person, who actually cared...but he couldn't help her. He didn't know what was going on. But he loved her. And really, she loved him. He did nothing wrong. But he's on the list...he's on the tapes. Because when he tried to love her...even though she wanted him to love her so bad...her mind attacked her...all she could think of was the things that had been done to her before...that's PTSD, by the way. She felt like she was back in those traumatic events. And she wanted him to know that it wasn't his fault.
She was hiding in a closet, and saw her former best friend being raped...and she wanted, and needed to help her, to rescue her...but she felt frozen. That's also on the tapes. Later she was raped as well.
Finally...she was ready to kill herself.
So, she took the tapes, and she recorded on six tapes. Only six. Twelve sides. Then...she decided to reach out. She decided to try. That's important...she decided to try again. But she knew she couldn't do it alone. So she went to her school counselor.
She told him, in the only words she could bring herself to share, that she was raped. She told him she wanted everything to end. He told her he couldn't do anything, and then...she walked out. She wanted him to follow her...she wanted him to make sure she would be okay. But he didn't. Like everyone else...he failed her.
At the end, she doesn't necessarily blame these people...but she wants to show them how their actions affected her...and how little actions led her to the point where she felt she couldn't go on. She even apologized at the end.
And then she slit her wrists. In the show...I couldn't watch that part. I had to tab away from Netflix. This is a hard show, a hard book.
13 Reasons Why shows how, so easily, your actions can impact someone. For better or worse. At the end of the book and show, Clay Jensen, the guy who loved Hannah, the one who had the tapes for the duration of the show and book, he extends his kindness and friendship to a girl he had avoided.
I think, in a way, the show captured the meaning more easily. He'd known this girl. He used to be friends with her. Then...they just stopped talking. It shows, slightly, some of the things that girl has done/gone through. And at the end, he's shown making a difference.
This is one of my favorite stories. And the Netflix show captured it so well. The show didn't shy away from the darkness in the book...this story isn't about fictional characters, this is about real people! Of course, yes, they're fictional, but this is one of the most real books, and most real shows, I have ever seen.
I will always recommend people to read/watch 13 Reasons Why, but I never will. For me, it's an emotional rollercoaster and I don't want to risk recommending it to someone who couldn't handle it.
However, if you do decide to see it, please note, there is cussing, there are scenes when, like me, you may have to tab away. I don't remember if there was cussing in the book, but I wouldn't be surprised.
I just finished the Netflix show...and I'm still kind of on an emotional...high/low/somethingoranother...and I wanted to share this.
~Katie
Friday, April 7, 2017
Monday, March 27, 2017
The Crazy Quest for a 2DS
Hi all! I'm going to try to be making a blogpost at least once a week...I've tried that before, and it has failed. I'm going to try again.
As most of you know, I'm a bit of a nerd, and a bit of a geek...more nerd than geek. My boyfriend has slowly been "corrupting" me and turning me into more of a geek, which isn't a bad thing, I don't think. I've been wanting a DS for awhile now, so that I could play the new Pokemon game (Pokemon Sun/Moon), that came out on my birthday, so I asked my stepdad if I could have a 2DS when our tax returns came in.
Unfortunately, life interfered with getting a DS for tax returns, in the form of bills...but then a wonderful thing happened last Wednesday.
I got a...check? Yup, a check! Apparently, and this was news to me, if you're going to college and don't use up all of your pell grant, you get a refund on it! So, first came the responsible things...new front tires for Demacia (my Jeep, named after a city state in the game League of Legends), and new sneakers (oh my old ones were falling to pieces). Next, came the fun, or not so needed things. New sandals for my last prom (it's this Saturday, actually! I'm going with Jacob), a DS, and Pokemon Sun.
Just one little problem.
Walmart didn't have a DS!!! And there's no sense in getting a game I'm not going to be able to play, right? Okay, so, checking the Walmart website and another Walmart says they have it. Well, I have some money, so let's go to that Walmart and go out to eat! I like treating my family. But wait, no, we'd better call to be sure. Nope. No DS, 2 or 3 to be found. Sorrows.
Okay, so call another Walmart. Nope. A Walmart several towns away. Nope. BestBuy? Well, I wouldn't know, we never got to talk to a human. Finally, another Walmart. Nope, but try GameStop.
Alright, alright! So, we called GameStop. YUS! A preowned 2DS! Well, it's about an hour and a half away....
You know what, we're going anyway! Besides, they said they'd hold it for me. So, I quickly ran upstairs, grabbed two books and got in the vehicle, ready to go.
As most of you know, I'm a bit of a nerd, and a bit of a geek...more nerd than geek. My boyfriend has slowly been "corrupting" me and turning me into more of a geek, which isn't a bad thing, I don't think. I've been wanting a DS for awhile now, so that I could play the new Pokemon game (Pokemon Sun/Moon), that came out on my birthday, so I asked my stepdad if I could have a 2DS when our tax returns came in.
Unfortunately, life interfered with getting a DS for tax returns, in the form of bills...but then a wonderful thing happened last Wednesday.
I got a...check? Yup, a check! Apparently, and this was news to me, if you're going to college and don't use up all of your pell grant, you get a refund on it! So, first came the responsible things...new front tires for Demacia (my Jeep, named after a city state in the game League of Legends), and new sneakers (oh my old ones were falling to pieces). Next, came the fun, or not so needed things. New sandals for my last prom (it's this Saturday, actually! I'm going with Jacob), a DS, and Pokemon Sun.
Just one little problem.
Walmart didn't have a DS!!! And there's no sense in getting a game I'm not going to be able to play, right? Okay, so, checking the Walmart website and another Walmart says they have it. Well, I have some money, so let's go to that Walmart and go out to eat! I like treating my family. But wait, no, we'd better call to be sure. Nope. No DS, 2 or 3 to be found. Sorrows.
Okay, so call another Walmart. Nope. A Walmart several towns away. Nope. BestBuy? Well, I wouldn't know, we never got to talk to a human. Finally, another Walmart. Nope, but try GameStop.
Alright, alright! So, we called GameStop. YUS! A preowned 2DS! Well, it's about an hour and a half away....
You know what, we're going anyway! Besides, they said they'd hold it for me. So, I quickly ran upstairs, grabbed two books and got in the vehicle, ready to go.
Great books, also check out Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow by the same author (Jessica Day George)
It's a great trip, but by the time we get to the mall where the GameStop is located, I've really gotta go to the bathroom! So, Mom and I scramble around in the mall, wondering why they've decided to put their restrooms in the most obscure place possible. Finally we find the bathroom, and finally we're on the last leg of our journey.
Mom, Doug and I walk into the GameStop, and honestly, part of me is terrified they've forgotten to hold it for me and sold it, but nope! We tell them why we're there, and he gets it out.
My 2DS, which does not have a name yet.
Oh, I'm so happy. Then, he asks if I'm wanting any games. Definitely! I definitely want Pokemon Sun. It came out on my birthday!!! Plus it has Litten, and I love Litten.
I present Litten, the Fire Kitten
Well, the very nice guy asks if I'd like to take a look at some other games, because there's a deal on them...looking back, it wasn't a super good deal, but I had money, and I thought it would be nice to have games to play other than just my Pokemon game. So, I picked out The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and Animal Crossing: New Leaf. Apparently the Zelda game was just a case...I was sad. But there was another Zelda game for the same price, so I got The Legend of Zelda: Tri-Force Heroes.
I'm sorry, I can't figure out how to rotate the picture
Well, my Animal Crossing game was the only one that would play! Apparently I needed an SD card. So, on the way home we stopped at Walmart to get an SD card.
This is where my SD card goes. As you can see, my DS is blue!!!
I pick out my SD card, and since they have it, I also grab The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
So, my total of games looks like this:
My games.
Oh, by the way...guess what else that Walmart had? ...a 2DS.
~Katie
Thursday, March 23, 2017
When I "Grow Up"
When I grow up, I hope I remember what it felt like to be the child who wanted to play Clue, whose family didn't...who didn't get to play Clue.
When I grow up, I hope I remember what it felt like to feel like the odd child at church that no one really wanted to play with.
When I grow up, I hope I remember how I felt when the "big kid" took an interest in me, and played with me, and mentored me.
When I grow up, I hope I remember that I didn't go to college either, and how I felt when almost everyone acted like it was a terrible decision.
When I grow up, I hope I remember how I felt about people making fun of my driving, just because I was a young driver...sure, it's just teasing...but I still hated it.
When I grow up, I hope I remember not to dismiss someone's thoughts about something, just because they're a child.
When I grow up, I hope I'm the type of adult who takes time to truly listen to each child.
When I grow up, I hope I have the kind of home that the neighborhood kids feel comfortable coming to and hanging out.
When I grow up, I hope I remember what it was like to be a child.
~Katie
When I grow up, I hope I remember what it felt like to feel like the odd child at church that no one really wanted to play with.
When I grow up, I hope I remember how I felt when the "big kid" took an interest in me, and played with me, and mentored me.
When I grow up, I hope I remember that I didn't go to college either, and how I felt when almost everyone acted like it was a terrible decision.
When I grow up, I hope I remember how I felt about people making fun of my driving, just because I was a young driver...sure, it's just teasing...but I still hated it.
When I grow up, I hope I remember not to dismiss someone's thoughts about something, just because they're a child.
When I grow up, I hope I'm the type of adult who takes time to truly listen to each child.
When I grow up, I hope I have the kind of home that the neighborhood kids feel comfortable coming to and hanging out.
When I grow up, I hope I remember what it was like to be a child.
~Katie
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Beauty and the Beast
Alright, so Beauty and the Beast has become a pretty hot topic lately. LeFou (which means The Fool) is gay and "One day wants to be Gaston, and the other day wants to be with Gaston."
I have several topics to address.
To begin with: Neither Gaston, nor LeFou were in the original book...and personally, I prefer the book to start with. First off, The Beast was not a selfish child like it shows in the movie, he was a young prince, whose mother enlisted the aid of a fairy/witch to win a war, promising her son in marriage...once the war was one, the mother pulled a Judah (from the Bible, somewhere in Genesis) and refused to allow her son to marry the fairy/witch, so her son was cursed. Beauty had two mean sisters and her father was a merchant. He became poor on a journey, after his ships crashed, and he was only able to bring the thing one of his daughters requested...Beauty's rose. He was imprisoned by the Beast, told he could go home and tell his daughters goodbye or trade with one. Beauty insisted on going in the place of her father and the Beast treated her very well.
Back on the movie...even in the original animated movie, LeFou is, if not gay, definitely very effeminate. He practically worships Gaston...which, for those who are so outraged about him being gay...isn't idolatry also a sin?
I know what the Bible says about homosexual sex. I also know that it only mentions sex. I'd also like to say that if someone is straight, even if they don't actively seek out relationships, or sexual relations, they are still straight. Therefore, applying that logic...if someone is gay/lesbian/bi, and they do not actively seek out relations of any type...they are still gay/lesbian/bi. I'm just going to say that.
Like one of my Facebook friends pointed out in a status...Gaston and LeFou are bad guys...and again...LeFou means "The Fool". Is this complimentary in any way toward the LGBT community? I personally wouldn't find it complimentary, to be honest.
Another thing...to those who are concerned about your children being influenced by this...I'd like to point out that there are gay people in the world. Your child will very likely encounter more than one gay person in their lifetime. Do you want them to be influenced first where you can influence them, or when they're out from under your protection? And I'm sorry, but overprotecting your child will not help them in the "real world". You will be setting your child up for mocking, ignorance, and possibly even danger, because you've never allowed them out, while still under your protection, to learn.
I didn't have huge plans to go see this movie...I was planning to see it eventually, like with the Cinderella movie, but most movies don't make me feel like watching them in theaters. My plans haven't changed.
I feel like sometimes people, especially people in the Christian community, forget that these people are people too. Is it any wonder that people don't come to the Christian community, when what they see is people calling them disgusting, and an abomination? They are not an abomination and they are not disgusting. They are not their sin/temptation/whateveryouwannacallit. They are a human. A human with feelings. A human with their own struggles and temptations. A human with a soul.
If you're reading this...you have your own struggles and temptations. Are you tempted to overeat and be a glutton? Gluttony is a sin...and you can get away with it, because it's an "okay" sin. Do you act upon it? Or are you just tempted? Are you a disgusting abomination? You are not.
Jesus spoke to the woman at the well. A Samaritan...probably a prostitute...and he didn't call her disgusting. He didn't say she was an abomination. Amazing.
Jesus said that the second greatest commandment was to love your neighbor as yourself. And Paul said that without love, a person is just a clanging of brass. Out of faith, hope and love...love is the greatest. I am not the best person in the world. I don't make the best choices sometimes. However, I've made a choice:
I will, to the best of my ability, love and show love to everyone I meet. It shouldn't matter who or what they are. It shouldn't matter what they have done. I will love them. And as our friendship goes on, maybe I can lead them to Christ...and then he can worry about the convicting.
Also, last I checked, the names Christians were calling members of the LGBT community were not loving at all....
I know this was kind of long, and I know it was kind of rambly. If you got this far, thank you.
~Katie
I have several topics to address.
To begin with: Neither Gaston, nor LeFou were in the original book...and personally, I prefer the book to start with. First off, The Beast was not a selfish child like it shows in the movie, he was a young prince, whose mother enlisted the aid of a fairy/witch to win a war, promising her son in marriage...once the war was one, the mother pulled a Judah (from the Bible, somewhere in Genesis) and refused to allow her son to marry the fairy/witch, so her son was cursed. Beauty had two mean sisters and her father was a merchant. He became poor on a journey, after his ships crashed, and he was only able to bring the thing one of his daughters requested...Beauty's rose. He was imprisoned by the Beast, told he could go home and tell his daughters goodbye or trade with one. Beauty insisted on going in the place of her father and the Beast treated her very well.
Back on the movie...even in the original animated movie, LeFou is, if not gay, definitely very effeminate. He practically worships Gaston...which, for those who are so outraged about him being gay...isn't idolatry also a sin?
I know what the Bible says about homosexual sex. I also know that it only mentions sex. I'd also like to say that if someone is straight, even if they don't actively seek out relationships, or sexual relations, they are still straight. Therefore, applying that logic...if someone is gay/lesbian/bi, and they do not actively seek out relations of any type...they are still gay/lesbian/bi. I'm just going to say that.
Like one of my Facebook friends pointed out in a status...Gaston and LeFou are bad guys...and again...LeFou means "The Fool". Is this complimentary in any way toward the LGBT community? I personally wouldn't find it complimentary, to be honest.
Another thing...to those who are concerned about your children being influenced by this...I'd like to point out that there are gay people in the world. Your child will very likely encounter more than one gay person in their lifetime. Do you want them to be influenced first where you can influence them, or when they're out from under your protection? And I'm sorry, but overprotecting your child will not help them in the "real world". You will be setting your child up for mocking, ignorance, and possibly even danger, because you've never allowed them out, while still under your protection, to learn.
I didn't have huge plans to go see this movie...I was planning to see it eventually, like with the Cinderella movie, but most movies don't make me feel like watching them in theaters. My plans haven't changed.
I feel like sometimes people, especially people in the Christian community, forget that these people are people too. Is it any wonder that people don't come to the Christian community, when what they see is people calling them disgusting, and an abomination? They are not an abomination and they are not disgusting. They are not their sin/temptation/whateveryouwannacallit. They are a human. A human with feelings. A human with their own struggles and temptations. A human with a soul.
If you're reading this...you have your own struggles and temptations. Are you tempted to overeat and be a glutton? Gluttony is a sin...and you can get away with it, because it's an "okay" sin. Do you act upon it? Or are you just tempted? Are you a disgusting abomination? You are not.
Jesus spoke to the woman at the well. A Samaritan...probably a prostitute...and he didn't call her disgusting. He didn't say she was an abomination. Amazing.
Jesus said that the second greatest commandment was to love your neighbor as yourself. And Paul said that without love, a person is just a clanging of brass. Out of faith, hope and love...love is the greatest. I am not the best person in the world. I don't make the best choices sometimes. However, I've made a choice:
I will, to the best of my ability, love and show love to everyone I meet. It shouldn't matter who or what they are. It shouldn't matter what they have done. I will love them. And as our friendship goes on, maybe I can lead them to Christ...and then he can worry about the convicting.
Also, last I checked, the names Christians were calling members of the LGBT community were not loving at all....
I know this was kind of long, and I know it was kind of rambly. If you got this far, thank you.
~Katie
Saturday, February 18, 2017
How Should I Feel?
Just to be clear, I'm not asking my readers to tell me how I should feel, I know, in a way, how I feel, and being told how to feel never helps me at all, because it just makes me want to buck against what I'm being told I should or have to do.
I have a friend on Facebook who I know has lived with a parent who has treated them unfairly. This parent has said things to me that I don't think were called for. I have been told, by this person's parent, in a very "righteous tone" that a woman wearing her hair down (in other words, not in a bun) is a harlot. This person has lived with that and who knows what for their entire life.
Obviously I haven't lived this person's life, but I know enough about their life to know that there have been things in this person's life, maybe even caused by said parent that have, well, to put it bluntly, screwed with them. I don't know how else to put it.
Messing with someone: That's teasing, maybe a few minor mind games.
Screwing with someone: That's a more painful, thing that isn't easily recovered from. There is a difference, and while I know some people dislike the term "screwed up" or "screwed with" this is to explain the way my mind sees the difference.
Facebook (I'm still on the same topic, by the way) is a great place. You can vent, you can talk badly about people, you can talk nicely about people, you can show off your baby, your cat, your boyfriend, so much stuff!!! But Facebook isn't a therapist, or certified mental health personnel.
I don't know how exactly to say what I'm feeling, deep down in my heart when I see this person post something about how that parent makes them feel, then see people instantly jumping at them for "disrespecting" their parent. I don't know whether it's disrespect or not. I don't know what this person was thinking/feeling when they made their post. And neither does anyone who commented.
To me, reading the post, and the comments that transpired reminded me of when I was in a relationship with a guy who was great at first, but then gradually became...not great. One minute, I would be angry with him! SO ANGRY! But then the next, I'd wonder why I was so mad at him to begin with.
Furthermore, seeing the way this person's parent has treated them, and hearing other things this parent has done/said...I don't think the parent is as righteous as they think. Fathers are told not to provoke their children to wrath. I think that also applies to mothers. Jacob, in the Bible, could have saved himself a lot of trouble had he not listened to his mother.
I'm not sure that this person should have posted the way they did on Facebook, but even if they do/did have problem with disrespect, isn't it good that they're aware of it? Instead of jumping at them about how they should respect their parent, why not ask why they feel that way? Sure, yes, mention respect, after all, that is in the Bible, and it is something that a decent human should live by, but the Bible also says that open rebuke is better than secret love (Proverbs 27:5)...does that mean that a person should say when they take issue with someone or something?
When I see these posts on Facebook, I want to help this person, but I don't know how...and I want to defend them...but I don't know how to do that either. Again, I don't know the attitude they had when they made those posts, and neither does anyone else who read them.
Maybe someday I'll know what I'm supposed to do, and how I'm supposed to feel, but in the meantime, I will be right here, in my little corner, trying my best to shine as much light as I can, and show as much love as I can. If someone needs convicted, unless I feel like God is telling me to say something, I think I'll just leave that up to him, and in the meantime, I have arms for giving hugs, ears for listening, and a mouth for attempting advice when necessary.
~Katie
I have a friend on Facebook who I know has lived with a parent who has treated them unfairly. This parent has said things to me that I don't think were called for. I have been told, by this person's parent, in a very "righteous tone" that a woman wearing her hair down (in other words, not in a bun) is a harlot. This person has lived with that and who knows what for their entire life.
Obviously I haven't lived this person's life, but I know enough about their life to know that there have been things in this person's life, maybe even caused by said parent that have, well, to put it bluntly, screwed with them. I don't know how else to put it.
Messing with someone: That's teasing, maybe a few minor mind games.
Screwing with someone: That's a more painful, thing that isn't easily recovered from. There is a difference, and while I know some people dislike the term "screwed up" or "screwed with" this is to explain the way my mind sees the difference.
Facebook (I'm still on the same topic, by the way) is a great place. You can vent, you can talk badly about people, you can talk nicely about people, you can show off your baby, your cat, your boyfriend, so much stuff!!! But Facebook isn't a therapist, or certified mental health personnel.
I don't know how exactly to say what I'm feeling, deep down in my heart when I see this person post something about how that parent makes them feel, then see people instantly jumping at them for "disrespecting" their parent. I don't know whether it's disrespect or not. I don't know what this person was thinking/feeling when they made their post. And neither does anyone who commented.
To me, reading the post, and the comments that transpired reminded me of when I was in a relationship with a guy who was great at first, but then gradually became...not great. One minute, I would be angry with him! SO ANGRY! But then the next, I'd wonder why I was so mad at him to begin with.
Furthermore, seeing the way this person's parent has treated them, and hearing other things this parent has done/said...I don't think the parent is as righteous as they think. Fathers are told not to provoke their children to wrath. I think that also applies to mothers. Jacob, in the Bible, could have saved himself a lot of trouble had he not listened to his mother.
I'm not sure that this person should have posted the way they did on Facebook, but even if they do/did have problem with disrespect, isn't it good that they're aware of it? Instead of jumping at them about how they should respect their parent, why not ask why they feel that way? Sure, yes, mention respect, after all, that is in the Bible, and it is something that a decent human should live by, but the Bible also says that open rebuke is better than secret love (Proverbs 27:5)...does that mean that a person should say when they take issue with someone or something?
When I see these posts on Facebook, I want to help this person, but I don't know how...and I want to defend them...but I don't know how to do that either. Again, I don't know the attitude they had when they made those posts, and neither does anyone else who read them.
Maybe someday I'll know what I'm supposed to do, and how I'm supposed to feel, but in the meantime, I will be right here, in my little corner, trying my best to shine as much light as I can, and show as much love as I can. If someone needs convicted, unless I feel like God is telling me to say something, I think I'll just leave that up to him, and in the meantime, I have arms for giving hugs, ears for listening, and a mouth for attempting advice when necessary.
~Katie
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