Thank You

I just wanted to take this moment to say thank you to everyone who is respecting my decision of switching schools.  Thank you.

I Am Moving On

Most of you know that I have been attending a private Christian school for the past three years.  I am now a Junior.  This will be my last year attending this school.  Next year, my senior year, will be spent attending the public school in my town.
Why?  Why leave a Christian school, with good teachers and wonderful students, to go to a public school with all those bad influences?  Why leave a Christian school where I have Valedictorian in the bag?  Where I have some friends?  Why make my friends go through next year without me?  I have many reasons.
One of my reasons, is that my step-dad doesn't go into the town my school is in every day, and my cousin, the person my mom is a PCA (Personal care assistant) to, has moved out of that town and my mom will be going to her new town.  I don't have my license or a car yet and honestly, I'm not sure that I want to drive that far every day, by myself.
Another, is, I no longer feel like I need to stay.  Even a week ago, if you had told me I would be 100% okay with going to the public school barely down the street from me, I would have raised my eyebrow, looked at you, and said, "Are you crazy?  I have friends here!  I gotta go on senior trip with my classmates!  Think about Senior pranks!  You are off your rocker!"  But now, I am okay with it.  Honestly, I think I was supposed to be there for a girl who is now also switching schools and going to a different public school.
A third reason is that I have more opportunities at a public school.  Volleyball team, track, drama, a big choir, possibly more writing competitions, I could go to state competitions with my singing....  At the school I will be attending: Seniors can leave for an open lunch; students can eat pretty much wherever they want; there's a circle of lockers and benches, that is for Seniors only; they have a gym complete with punching bags and weights, for the students to go to even after school.
Will I miss anything at my current school when I switch schools?  Yes.  I will miss most of the teachers (the ones I have in classes mostly), Jessica, Angela, and sometimes I might miss Gavyn, but I'm not sure, I will definitely miss my Bible classes and my geography class, although next year, I will be taking government instead of geography.  I'll miss traveling with my group and my little choir and hitting all the high notes Mr.  Miller gives me.  I will miss going to ISAAC Rally, and I'll miss being part of the programs.
But I feel like this is the right thing for me to do right now.  My principal was telling me just yesterday, that it's a long time between now and August.  My principal doesn't know me.  My mind has been made up.  My principal was also telling me, today, that he wants me to graduate from the right school.  So do I.  And I feel like this is the right school for me to graduate from.  If it wasn't, I wouldn't just be a bit sad because of all I said I would miss or a little nervous because I know no one, I would be upset.  I wouldn't feel good about it.  I would feel sick.  I don't.  I feel like this is right for me.  I'm sorry if anyone doesn't agree, but not everyone has to graduate from a Christian school.
Also...as my choir teacher said last year in his PR speech, "If the salt never gets out of the salt shaker, what good is it doing?"  It's time for me to get out of the salt shaker.
~Katie :)

My Kids

I am a daycare worker, which means that I have many children.  None of them are biological and chances of any of them ever living with me are slim to not at all, which I am okay with....but they are my children.  When someone hurts them, it hurts me.  I understand I don't know exactly how a parent feels about their children, but I can imagine.
Did you know that when the parent says, "This hurts me more than it hurts you," they're usually right?  Because when I have to put a kid in timeout, I hate doing it.
I don't know exactly how to explain everything I felt when I began typing this, but it's important to know this; I love those kids.  They aren't mine, but they're mine.
~Katie :)

Being a Teenager Does Not Equal Being an Idiot

There are people in the world, who seem to think that teenagers are immature and don't understand anything unless it is explained to them.  And apparently, for some teenagers, they get so sick of it, that they just begin to act that way.  There is one thing I firmly believe:  It is wrong to treat someone like a child, but expect them to act like an adult.
What really gets under my skin is when someone says something to a teenager, assuming they don't have the mental capacity to understand things like this by themselves.  Did you know that Clara Barton, founder of the America Red Cross was just a child when she first became a nurse and tended to her injured brother?  She was even a teacher at age 15.  Shocking huh?  After all, a teenager does not have the mental capacity to teach.  And children definitely don't have the mental capacity to know how to tend to an injured brother without a doctor constantly looking over their shoulder.
Did you know that there's actually even a Bible verse about this?

"Let no one look down on your youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, and in purity."  --1 Timothy 4:12 KJV

True, that is written to the youth, but shouldn't older people look at it and say, "Oh, okay, we're not supposed to look down upon them."  In other words, not act like they're idiots.  I have actually met teenagers who had better heads on their shoulders than some 'adults.'
Anyway, that was my rant for the day.
~Katie :)

Love

Each person in the world experiences love differently.  Each person has a different approach to love and a different way they like to love and be loved.  Everyone has a different view on love.  And, I'm going to be using some kind of analogy-ish thing to illustrate this.
Love is at the bottom of a tall cliff.  If you want to love and be loved, you have to jump off your cliff.  Sometimes, someone will come to the top off the cliff with you and love you, even when you haven't jumped off your cliff, and they'll help you jump off the cliff.  Parents are a prime example of that.  But, there are four main approaches to jumping off the cliff.
The first approach is the approach of many children.  This person jumps off the cliff all the time, they know someone will catch them or at least believe someone will catch them and they love everyone at the bottom, even if everyone at the bottom doesn't love them.
Secondly, we have those who jump off the cliff any chance they get, but not necessarily because they're full of love.  Instead, they jump off because they're full of pain and just want someone to love them.  But they always jump off of the wrong areas and fall and get broken even more.
A third kind of person is cautious.  They'll let people on their cliff and they'll jump off their cliff, but only if they are sure someone is down there to catch them.  They don't go jumping off for every friend/boyfriend/girlfriend who says "I'll love you forever!"
And lastly, there's the person who used to be like the second person or who had too many people invading their cliff, pushing them off.  They are terrified to jump off the cliff and into love, even if they see arms reaching out to catch them and love them.  They've been hurt too many times to dare trust those at the bottom, so they sit at the top of their cliff, alone and scared, wanting to jump, but fearing pain if they do.
That just struck me the other day.  So I wrote it down and posted it.
~Katie :)

Positive Adjectives of the Alphabet

Not too long ago, I tried to come up with positive adjectives for every letter of the alphabet...and this is what happened.
A--Amazing, awesome, adorable, appreciative
B--Beautiful, brave, brawny
C--Cute, creative, courteous, cuddly, caring, compassionate
D--Delightful, Darling, Daring, Dauntless
E--Exciting, Entertaining, Extroverted
F--Fiiine, Fantastic, Forgiving, Fair
G--Gentle, Gentlemanly, Generous, Gracious
H--Happy, Handsome, Hot (???), Honest, Heartwarming, Helpful, Humble.
I--Intelligent, Imaginative, Introverted
J--Jokester, Just, Just-awesome
K--Kind, Kooky, Kittyish (what was I and my friends thinking???), Kool
L--Likeable, Loveable, Loving, Lucky, Laughing
M--Marvelous, Magnificent
N--Nice, Nutty
O--Optimistic, Obedient, Open-minded
P--Polite, Pretty
Q--Quiet, Quite-awesome
R--Robust, Resourceful
S--Sweet, Super-duper, Splendid, Social
T--Terrific, Tactful
U--Understanding, Underestimated, Unexpected, Unique
V--Victorious, Virtuous
W--Wonderful, Whimsical
X--X-act, X-treme
Y--Young, Youthful
Z--Zany, Zippy.

Some were harder than others.  Some were easier than others.  Some were weirder than others.  If you know any better ones, just comment them!!!
~Katie :)

I Shouldn't Be Up So Late....

I should not be up so late, but it gets my juices flowing and has made me think.  (This was started last night/this morning around 1, 2, or 3)  Chances are, I've already posted this at least once, but here it goes again.  It confuses me so much sometimes, how people can come into your life and then leave your life....I have two example I will use one of a group of friends I know in real life and one of a group of people I have never met in person, but have gotten to the point I consider them my friends.
Starting with the people I know in real life.  When I was eleven, I made friends with a girl named Christa and I called her my best friend and she called me her best friend.  But she was also a compulsive liar who made up stories.  I don't understand why people think they need to make up stories to be liked.  I mean, even if people like you because of the stories you tell, they don't really like you, they like the you that you've made up.  One week I just decided that I was going to see if she really did care about our friendship and I just waited for her to come over.  She never did and our friendship just...ended.  Looking back, I really could have handled that better.  Also looking back...how in the world were 11-12 year olds so perverted?!  I'm including her group of friends that I was involved in in this friend category.
Okay, I lied, there's going to be two groups of friends I know in real life.  This one really hurts me, because I know I really screwed up in part of this.  Shortly after my friendship with Christa ended, I made friends with a girl named Emily and shortly after that, we both made friends with Kayden.  I mentioned them a lot in the blog I had before this one: The Heartbeat of the Mission I didn't know how to spell back then....  Anyway, I have trouble balancing hanging out with two friends at once.  At least I did.  I think I've gotten better at it.  Actually, no, I haven't gotten better at it, I've just become a recluse, but that's beside the point.  As I was saying, I wound up hanging out with Kayden more than Emily of course, that was also partially because I had a crush on him at the time, but that's beside the point, because I probably would have wound up hanging out with him more anyway.  There have been times that I've wanted to tell her I'm sorry for that, but I don't know how.  So, Emily, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry.  By the way, Amanda in The Unnamed Legend was partially based off of you.  And now, I barely speak to either Kayden or Emily.  We've just drifted apart.  However, Kayden and Emily are still friends...in a way.  They're actually a couple.  Take a moment to say "awww."
Now to my friends I've never met in real life.  *sigh*  This is going to be a lonnnnnng blog post.  TO those of you who have read this far, thank you so much, that really does mean a lot to me.  When I was 12/13, I entered into the world of Facebook, Fanfiction.net, and Howrse.  I met AceTrace/Impossible Insomniac/Hannah, on Fanfiction.net, same with a girl named Emma.  They were friends with a girl named Joy and one day, I was added to a group message on Facebook (back when they had messages and not just chat and the chat was deleted shortly after you closed the chat box...a long time ago) with Hannah, Emma and Joy.  We were quickly almost inseparable friends.  We wrote each other into stories, we talked to each other all day...yeah....  Hannah had a boyfriend named Donny, whom she loved.  Or at least said she loved.  Obviously she didn't, as she had a boyfriend named Donny.  Anyway, they broke up twice and during one of these times, Joy was being especially insensitive, and well...she called me the B word, I told her I wasn't going to be friends with her and well, that ended that.
But, back to Donny and Hannah....  I had called them brother and sister and when they broke up, I felt like I was being forced to choose between them.  Note:  I was not actually ever told to choose between them, but it still felt like it.  I wound up choosing Donny.  It wasn't that hard a choice, as Hannah started going through a phase where everything was about her.  Donny and I still talk, but Hannah and I barely speak.
Now, Emma and I...well, we're still/again friends....um...it's very complicated.  She is now actually engaged to Donny, so that's...yeah...dating your ex friend's boyfriend...um, yeah, it's not that bad actually.  But, her and I have had a history of being explosive.  And it's only been within a few months ago that her and I have actually began talking, like seriously talking.
Donny and I have also had times where we barely talked.  But he is my brother and if you didn't know better, you would think he was blood.  There have been times when we've skyped and he's said something I almost said and vice versa.
But what really gets me is this:  Why do some people come into your life, then leave?  They come in, they bring their youtube videos, their jokes, their songs, books, movies, everything, then they leave...or you leave them?  Why does that happen?  And why do some people come into your life and stay?  It honestly kind of confuses me.  Probably because I try to understand everything and there's no way on earth that I could ever honestly do that....  Anyway, that was the end, thank you for reading, y'all are awesome.
~Katie :)

Choir

Life is like a Choir.  We have our sopranos, our altos, tenors, basses, and everyone in the middle, plus lead.
In choir, the people who sing lead, sing the melody, they sing the part that everyone hears, or is supposed to hear.  They are the leaders.
The sopranos hit the high notes, the rise above everyone else with their strong, high, sometimes operatic voices.  They are the ones that carry others up.
The altos sing lower, but they blend so beautifully with everyone else and sometimes do back times.  They are the ones who bring others together.
The tenors sing lower than the altos, but not as low as the basses.  Their voices are high and low at the same time.  They're similar to the altos, they bring others together.
Then there's the basses.  Their strong and resonating voices bring out the soul in the music.  They're those who push others to do brave things.
Then we have those who sing middle notes.  They aren't sopranos, altos, tenors, basses, or even lead singers...but they have a part too.  They fill up empty spaces and though sometimes their voices may go unnoticed, they are there.  They're those who support others, and fill empty spaces in life.
What would happen though, if everyone sang the middle note in life?  If everyone was just supporting and space filling?  We would have no one to carry up, we would have no leaders, no one to bring others together or do brave, resonating things.
What if everyone sang the lead note in life?  There would be a lot of head-butting, because there would be no altos or tenors to bring others together.
Everyone has their own "singing" part in life and though some people can sing more than one part, if they're trying to sing someone else's part, the whole song will sound funny, so embrace your own singing part in life.
~Katie :)

Acheiving

You know, I've been thinking...maybe there is no such thing as an overachiever.  I get called an overachiever sometimes, because I'll get an assignment that was due on Friday, done on Tuesday and turn it in Wednesday morning.  But what if I'm not really an overachiever?
I know what I'm capable of.  I know what I can achieve.  And if I go ahead and do what I know what I can achieve, aren't I achieving just right?  The only way to overachieve would be if I achieved something I wasn't capable of achieving...which would be impossible, because it's something I'm not capable of achieving.
So, maybe, when you think about it, you're underachieving when you know what you COULD achieve, but decide NOT to achieve it or even to try it, because you're too lazy to, or because you think you'll get made fun of.  There's no such thing as overachieving, only underachieving and just-right-achieving.

~Katie :)

Books

Those of you who know me, know I love books.  When I was younger I did almost nothing but read books, climb trees, make things I read about from books....everything was books.  I loved books.  I still love books, but some things make it harder to actually sit down and read.  Such as school.  Anyway, I wanted to talk about books.  Sort of.
Some books are absolutely wonderful.  I always loved Alice in Wonderland.  So whimsical, I suppose is what you would call it.  I read it several times.  I also read Little Women several times, as well as Eight Cousins, and the Little House on the Prairie books.  I had read the first Chronicles of Narnia book by the time I was six.  Well, actually, that depends on which book you're counting as the first.  I read The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.  I also read some books that couldn't exactly be classified as 'classics' of any type.  I read  The Boys Start the War and The Girls Get Even.  The Girl With the Silver Eyes, Babysitting is a Dangerous Job, The Furthest Away Mountain, Dragon Rider, Boxcar Children, Twelve Candles Club....  Anything I could get my hands on.  Anything.
I still read books.  I read books like Sold and This Song Will Save Your Life.  I still read the Chronicles of Narnia books and just recently I reread The Girl With the Silver Eyes.  I just finished a book called Out of My Mind.  I read books with titles like Tempest.  Once.  Unfortunately, in English, I'm reading a book called The Great Gatsby.  Personally, I see nothing great about him at all.
I read Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Realistic, Romance, ANYTHING.
Some really good books I've read were: This Song Will Save Your Life, Out of My Mind, Thirteen Reasons Why, Because I Am Furniture.  And those are just some I can remember the titles of.  And do you know what every single one of those books is at least somewhat about?  Bullies.  In This Song Will Save Your Life, the main character is the butt of every joke and for some reason wants to be popular.  There's one point where she tried to kill herself.  Where did the title come from?  She came across a warehouse 'night club' where she became a DJ.  Out of My Mind is about a girl with cerebral palsy (as far as I know, the story isn't true.)  She can't talk, she can't walk, but then she gets a device that she can bang on with her thumbs and write out what she wants to say, and it will say it for her.  That's how she shows her smarts.  She's so smart she's put in a "smart bee," but her 'team' leaves her behind at the last minute...they don't like her, because of how different she is, because they don't understand her.  Thirteen Reasons Why is about a girl who kills herself.  But, she leaves behind 7 cassette tapes, with thirteen of the sides recorded on, and these tapes get passed around to thirteen people, each side explaining to each person what effect they had on her decision to kill herself.  Because I Am Furniture is one of the saddest ones, because it's about a girl who is abused in her own home.
Yes, I read sad books.  I also read happy ones.  But what I want to point out is that these books are popular.  People read them.  And do you know why?  Why do people read any books?  They read educational books to learn, funny books to laugh, but why sad books?  Because they relate.  And that makes me mad.
No one.  NO ONE.  Should ever have to relate to books like that.  Why does these books sell?  Why does everyone love them?  Because they relate.  And they shouldn't have to relate to books like that.  And I know I just repeated myself, but it makes me so mad.  There are people who bully and it's like they don't even stop to think, "Wait, this is a person too.  I'm hurting another human."  And what I don't understand is why.
Don't give me that crap about, "Their daddy isn't home," "They're hurt inside," "They're insecure," "They're just teasing."  They choose how they act.  Your daddy isn't home and they're hurt inside?  Okay, so why make others hurt inside?  You're insecure?  Okay, do your best to make no one else feel insecure.  You're just teasing?  Are you my friend?  No?  You have no right to tease me.  That is reserved for my family and friends...people who know not to cross the line.
Do your part....don't help add to the population of people who relate to sad books like that.
~Katie X(

Achoo!

So, I've been sick.  In fact, I missed school Monday and Tuesday.  For those of you who know me well, you know that I do not miss school.  Ever.  Tuesday, I thought I'd be able to handle it, but...well...when we were on our way to school, I started coughing so hard I couldn't breathe.  I couldn't even stop coughing.
I wound up staying at my cousin's house all day long, infecting her bed, sleeping with very few breaks.  I feel sorry for all the people who tried to text me, although it was mostly one of my best friend's brother, Andy.
When I moved from Nowata, Andy and Zena (his sister, my best friend) were pretty much my best friends and recently, Andy got my number and BAM suddenly random texts about presidents.  I believe his first text was something about John Adams....  So, now our main thing is to send each other lists of presidents, colors, historical people...anything.  Oh, and animal noises.  And Zena and I always text about...everything.  Boys, how strange Andy is....Jasper.  Everything.  Man I miss her.
Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that I was alive, not dead or gasping for air somewhere (yet).
~Katie :)

November 18, 2015

What's so important about that date?  That is the date I turn 18.  That is the date I magically turn into an adult and take on all the responsibilities of adulthood.  Suddenly, I'm going to be deemed responsible enough, old enough, to buy knives, guns, and ciggarettes on my own.  Suddenly, I'm going to be deemed old enough to vote on who I want running my country.  Suddenly I'm responsible enough to work in the meat/deli section of store.
What's so magical about the age 18?  When I turned sixteen after being fifteen, I still freaked out happily over a new knife or seeing something involving one of my fandoms out in public.  I still google searched strange things to use in my books.  I still read books from the children AND YA section of the library.  Same goes for when I turned seventeen after being sixteen.  Of course, I'm so out of it sometimes that I still almost tell people that I'm fifteen.
Of course, things that happened while I was sixteen was that I got a job.  I was introduced to 'Doctor Who,' and a wonderful time waster known as Netflix.  I got my first actual paycheck, while beforehand, when I was a mopper/janitor person I'd been paid out of my employer's pocket.  I got my first check stubs.  I built a little box/chest that I absolutely love.  It even has a lock.  Which I rarely use.  I met my cousin who was born on my birthday for the first time.  I went to four different camps in one summer.
And well, I suppose not much has happened since I turned seventeen, seeing as I've only been seventeen for a few months....  But different things will happen.
When I was little and envisioned myself at age twelve, I saw myself as super mature, almost adult, calm, cool collected....  Haha, yeah.  No.  And I'm sure that's not going to happen when I turn eighteen either.  I'm still going to be me, am I not?  And 'me' is still going to like the same things she does, is she not?  There was a little girl that once said something about how you're all ages at once.  When you're sick and tired and want your mommy to hold you, you're six (that's me right now.)  And she listed so many of those, but I don't remember them all and can't find them on youtube.
I guess my main point right now is this;  Okay, so I'll be 18.  It doesn't mean I'll really be any more mature or responsible than I am now...but I guess I might as well try.
~Katie :)
P.S.  Honestly, the whole idea makes me feel rather sick.