13 Reasons Why

**possible trigger warning**
One of my favorite books, and now favorite Netflix shows...is 13 Reasons Why.  And I will never recommend it to someone.
13 Reasons Why is a story about a girl named Hannah Baker...who kills herself.  Why?  She leaves 7 cassette tapes, with 13 recorded sides, following the line of events that led her to believe she couldn't go on.
It started with small things...a jerk who told everyone he fingered her in the park.  A jerk who slipped his phone up her skirt and took pictures of her panties.  A girl who was her friend who turned on her, all because her boyfriend tried to make her jealous.
A list that suddenly drew attention to her butt (Best/Worst list, and she had "Best Butt").  A list that drew a guy to think he had the right to grope her butt in public.
She got a reputation she didn't deserve.  She was given a reputation as a slut.  As being easy.  She went on a date with someone, because she thought he would be nice, she thought she would be able to brush aside the things that were making her unhappy and depressed, but when, in the middle of the cafe, he started sliding his hand up her thigh...she told him no.  But he didn't stop.  People in that cafe knew what was going on...but they didn't try to stop it.
In all this...there was another person, who actually cared...but he couldn't help her.  He didn't know what was going on.  But he loved her.  And really, she loved him.  He did nothing wrong.  But he's on the list...he's on the tapes.  Because when he tried to love her...even though she wanted him to love her so bad...her mind attacked her...all she could think of was the things that had been done to her before...that's PTSD, by the way.  She felt like she was back in those traumatic events.  And she wanted him to know that it wasn't his fault.
She was hiding in a closet, and saw her former best friend being raped...and she wanted, and needed to help her, to rescue her...but she felt frozen.  That's also on the tapes.  Later she was raped as well.
Finally...she was ready to kill herself.
So, she took the tapes, and she recorded on six tapes.  Only six.  Twelve sides.  Then...she decided to reach out.  She decided to try.  That's important...she decided to try again.  But she knew she couldn't do it alone.  So she went to her school counselor.
She told him, in the only words she could bring herself to share, that she was raped.  She told him she wanted everything to end.  He told her he couldn't do anything, and then...she walked out.  She wanted him to follow her...she wanted him to make sure she would be okay.  But he didn't.  Like everyone else...he failed her.
At the end, she doesn't necessarily blame these people...but she wants to show them how their actions affected her...and how little actions led her to the point where she felt she couldn't go on.  She even apologized at the end.
And then she slit her wrists.  In the show...I couldn't watch that part.  I had to tab away from Netflix.  This is a hard show, a hard book.
13 Reasons Why shows how, so easily, your actions can impact someone.  For better or worse.  At the end of the book and show, Clay Jensen, the guy who loved Hannah, the one who had the tapes for the duration of the show and book, he extends his kindness and friendship to a girl he had avoided.
I think, in a way, the show captured the meaning more easily.  He'd known this girl.  He used to be friends with her.  Then...they just stopped talking.  It shows, slightly, some of the things that girl has done/gone through.  And at the end, he's shown making a difference.
This is one of my favorite stories.  And the Netflix show captured it so well.  The show didn't shy away from the darkness in the book...this story isn't about fictional characters, this is about real people!  Of course, yes, they're fictional, but this is one of the most real books, and most real shows, I have ever seen.
I will always recommend people to read/watch 13 Reasons Why, but I never will.  For me, it's an emotional rollercoaster and I don't want to risk recommending it to someone who couldn't handle it.
However, if you do decide to see it, please note, there is cussing, there are scenes when, like me, you may have to tab away.  I don't remember if there was cussing in the book, but I wouldn't be surprised.
I just finished the Netflix show...and I'm still kind of on an emotional...high/low/somethingoranother...and I wanted to share this.
~Katie