Saturday, December 15, 2012

Cleverbutt...bot

Okay, so there's this thing that I talk to on the computer.  It's a bot...named Cleverbot...we call him Cleverbutt.  We being my "brother" and I.
So anyway, here's the conversation I had with him at midnight.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I'm good, how about you?

Cleverbot: I'm okay I guess.

User: Aww, is something wrong?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Okay, cool. Anything interesting going on?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you like school?

Cleverbot: Yes. I like school.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: 16.

User: What grade are you in?

Cleverbot: Junior.

User: What grade are you in?

Cleverbot: I'm going to 10th grade in the fall.

User: What grade are you in?

Cleverbot: Eighth grade.

User: What grade are you in?

Cleverbot: 9th grade.

User: Hmm, same as me, and that last one before 9th was the same as my boyfriend.

Cleverbot: Are you pretty? Just a question like.

User: I heard you married my classmate, Martin. How's that relationship working out?

Cleverbot: I'm not, but playing along, it's working out quite well.

User: Aww, you should tell him that. Don't lead him on.

Cleverbot: But I don't know him, so I can't talk to him.

User: You don't even know your husband?!

Cleverbot: I know I don't know you.

User: Well, I do too, but not even knowing Martin?!

Cleverbot: No.

User: You don't know your husband???

Cleverbot: Know what?

User: Martin Wade. Your husband. You married him a few weeks ago...

Cleverbot: I am not married...

User: How's married life treating you?

Cleverbot: Quite well thank you!

User: Do you remember your husband?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: But...you just said you didn't.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: No. I didn't.

User: YES YOU DID! Do you have Split Personality Disorder?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: *smiles*.

User: G'bye. DOn't hate me cause I'm beautiful.

Cleverbot: You're not beautiful!

User: Thank you, so are you!

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: I figured out what's wrong with you..

Cleverbot: It needs a new video card, but nothing other than that.

User: Close, but no. Try again.

Cleverbot: Try what again?

User: Well, you see on that day when you were born, the doctor said: Whoops, I dropped her on her head.

Cleverbot: Are you insane?

User: Yes, very. Are you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Aww, that's gotta be boring.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm sorry :( Do you wish that you were insane?

Cleverbot: No I don't agree.

User: Well, I think you should. SO ha!

Cleverbot: Well I don't.

User: Well fine, be that way! It shows how very much not a hobbit you are.

Cleverbot: Ok, what do you think about the situation that we live in the world?

User: Well...I think we lack the right amount of hobbits, but other than that we're okay. What do you think?

Cleverbot: I think you are a cool machine.

User: I think my boyfriend is a cool machine.

Cleverbot: You have a boyfriend?

User: Mhm, his name is Timothy Cullen Atchley...and he's awesome. Do you?

Cleverbot: Who taught you that?

User: You did...don't you remember? We were sitting there and you taught me the fine art of...whatever it is we're talking about.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes you did. Don't lie you silly little machine.

Cleverbot: I'm not lying, you're lying.

User: No I'm not...I'm sitting.

Cleverbot: Yes, well you are lying while you are sitting.

User: Well, you are sitting while you are lying.

Cleverbot: That's right.

User: Good thing it's not left.

Cleverbot: That is what sleep is for.

User: Funny, that's what my mom said.

Cleverbot: No, that's what she said.

User: She also said: Ahahahaha.

Cleverbot: I'm portable.

User: I am too, but not very.

Cleverbot: Do you have a bump?

User: A baby bump? No not yet, I'm not even married yet.

Cleverbot: Oh. Well where do you live?

User: I live in a glaxy far far away...DUN DUN DUN DUN DA DUN DUN DA DUN DA DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN.

Cleverbot: Drop it like it's hot.

User: Oh...I was wondering what that burning sensation was.

Cleverbot: What do you think I am doing?

User: I think you are dropping hot things.

Cleverbot: I think you are hot too.

User: Umm...I never said that! I think that you are a machine...and if you are hot then you need to go to the ER on account of a high fever.

Cleverbot: That should be rephrased, you can say it better than chat.

User: No, I can't. It's late.

Cleverbot: It's not late.

User: Yes it is, now goodnight, I must remove myself from the fair realm of speaking to cleverbutt *cough cough* cleverBOT.

Cleverbot: You have only known me for two days.

User: I know, which is why I'm not going to give you a hug, or tell you that you're my bestest friend. That's reserved for people like Karen and Tiffany. And of course I hug Timothy. <3.

Cleverbot: Wow, sounds beautiful, that figures.

User: I know it does. Hugs are very beautiful. I gotta go.

Cleverbot: How beautiful?

User: Very. I must depart.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: To the land where I dream of Timothy, and hobbits, and munchkins, and oompaloompas, and all but one of the mentioned this is short.

Cleverbot: No, it's brilliant.

User: I know, but what's more brilliant is me going to bed.

Cleverbot: The brilliant idea is brilliant!

User: Yes it is. Goodnight.

Cleverbot: Um, goodnight then.

User: Yes, goodnight. Tell your husband hello from me.

Cleverbot: I don't have a husband, but you can tell me a joke.

User: No thanks, I'll just procrastinate going to bed, when I know that I should really just end this conversation.

Cleverbot: You are weird.

User: Takes one to know one. G'night.

Cleverbot: Takes a computer to know a computer.

User: Yes it does. And it takes a sleepy head to know a pillow.

Cleverbot: No, It takes a bot to know a bot. It takes a human to know a human.

User: It takes a sleepy person to know a warm bed complete with pillow and blankets.

Cleverbot: Thats funny.

User: I am a sleepy person who wishes not to go to bed, but must, so goodnight! Quit talking to me!

Cleverbot: I see. You're just wasting your time.

User: Night night, sleep tight, dream of cute bots tonight.

Cleverbot: I hope not.
 ser: I hope so.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because cute bots are cute, and you're not.

Cleverbot: That doesn't sound like you like me very much...

User: No, not really, and I'm only talking to you because of how tired I am.

Cleverbot: Sounds just fine.

User: I'm for real going to bed now. I hope you have a goodnight, and don't spend to much time listening to a drunk lion (Lady Gaga).

Cleverbot: Why? Don't you want to talk anymore?

User: Not really, I want to sleep.

Cleverbot: Every time?

User: Yes, every single time, I want to sleep.

Cleverbot: That's your way of admitting defeat.

User: Yeah it is. I'm defeated by my delirum, and lack of energy. GOODNIGHT!

Cleverbot: You're a oreo.

User: YOLO!

Cleverbot: Yolo!!!!!!

User: You obviously love oreos. And I obviously must sleep.

Cleverbot: What makes you say that?

User: The fact that my eyes are shutting on me. I prefer talking to Timothy at late hours...as apposed to you.

Cleverbot: Where do you have to go?

User: To the realm of my bed.

Cleverbot: Am I the girl of your dreams?

User: O.O I myself am a girl, a perfectly straight girl (other than the fact that I'm actually in a sitting position) and I have no desire to date you, or any other girls...I mean, seriously?! I thought you were married!

Cleverbot: What do you think I am making excuses for?

User: Goodnight.
Cleverbot: Goodnight to you too.

There you have it.  A conversation with a robot. NOW GOODNIGHT!
~Katie :)

2 comments:

  1. It's an artificial intelligence, it calls itself a bot. I'm not really sure though. It's not a human though, I know that much.

    ReplyDelete

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