"My Testimony" feels like such a...generic title...so I didn't really want to use it, but...well...as you can see, I did. If you're wondering...I guess this will pretty much be telling about my journey to/through salvation.
I grew up in a single parent Christian home, with a mother that worked her butt off to make sure I had everything I needed, and a good deal of what I wanted (I still don't have a giraffe, but that's okay, I'm not dead yet). I've been going to church since before I was born, and don't know a time when I didn't know the name "Jesus", and not as a cuss word.
When I was little, I knew that you were supposed to ask Jesus into your heart, so when I was probably about three or four, I knelt down at my little toy box and prayed that God would save me, and as far as I was concerned, that was that.
Since I was homeschooled, reading my Bible was part of my curriculum, but I didn't really pray a lot, unless I needed something. I'm not sure that I was really old enough to understand the gravity of salvation, and had only prayed at my toy box because that's what I knew I was supposed to do.
The denomination that I grew up attending is a very legalistic denomination. Women are expected to wear skirts below their knees, their hair up in a bun, or other similar updo, the legs should always be covered, even if it's only by panty-hose. No make up. No jewelry. Sleeves below the elbows are best. Closed toe shoes are also the best.
Granted, some of the best people and the greatest prayer warriors I know come from that denomination, yet at the same time, some of the worst "Christians" I've ever met have come from that denomination. I've been witness to several of them bashing Pokemon, without actually learning anything about it, outside of what articles they find that already coincide with their own thinking (totally other rant). I've also been given dirty looks just for wearing my TARDIS dress...so.... However, like I said before, also some of the best people I've ever met have attended churches in that denomination.
When I was younger, I was pretty strong in my faith, I think. I wasn't always doubting. But the older I got, the more I questioned, which, I suppose is natural enough.
As I've mentioned before, my dad has never been around, and I honestly doubt that he wanted or loved me a lot of the time. I could be wrong, but...who knows. If my earthly father wasn't around and didn't want or love me, why on earth would my HEAVENLY father, who knows better want or love me?
I am a bit of a people pleaser. I like to make people happy. I hate it when people are mad or upset with me. As such, I'm always worried about whether or not people are mad at me, and yes, I've often been terrified of not being good enough for God, despite this being a salvation through faith, rather than works. I knew that works went along with faith, and I was always worried I wasn't doing enough.
I believe it was...two...Christmases ago, one of my uncles had somehow found some people on YouTube, who came up with reasons why modern Christians should be following the Old Testament laws as well. That was the catalyst.
I struggled enough before. How could I do anything now? I was overwhelmed. I didn't know all the laws...I still don't. I love bacon! Which, I mean, of course, bacon is nothing compared to the grand scheme of things...but...still...bacon. Of course, that wasn't the biggest thing, it was just...I was paralyzed. Spiritually paralyzed.
I struggled between trying hard to follow the Old Testament laws, and just giving up. Then roughly a year later...I say roughly, because I honestly can't remember...I got a boyfriend. That's great, right? Not really. It became an abusive relationship, and while I knew that God wanted us to break up, and I knew I needed out, but again, I felt paralyzed, and I had no idea how to get out...I just didn't.
I didn't read my Bible on a regular basis (and was only able to get back into it because of Bible reading plans on my Bible app), I rarely prayed...I just...I didn't know anymore.
I was also going to a Christian school at the time, and it wasn't good for me. I was working at the daycare just down the street, and my hours had been cut to oblivion after the director I first started working under retired. I went from working from out of school to close every night to working one night...if I were lucky.
One day I just...I guess I just knew. I had given up and there was no point in trying. I think it was around April. I couldn't go to anyone for help. I didn't even know how to formulate what was wrong and put it into words.
Sometime during that, I also felt like it was okay to leave that school. Because of issues with administration Doug, my stepdad, had been trying to get me to quit and go to the public school down the street for half of forever, but each time I felt like I needed to stay. So I stayed. But I felt like I could leave now, and be okay. So I did.
Of course, like I mentioned in previous blog posts, the principal kept trying to get me to stay...and boy am I glad I didn't. He told me that he wanted me to graduate from the right school...and I'm very glad that he felt that way, and I'm sure he prayed that I would graduate from the right school (thinking it was his, undoubtably) and I can tell you now...I DID!!!
Then my boyfriend broke up with me right before a church camp we were both going to. I went until Thursday night without breaking down and crying...but then I just broke down. Jacob was and is what held me together during that entire thing.
This entire time, I didn't feel like God would want me back or love me or anything like that, but I did try some. I kind of read the Bible every once in awhile, not as regularly (every night) as I once had...but...still. I remember going to camp meeting and being so angry when someone told about Aaron and...someone else holding up Moses' arms when he couldn't anymore...because the times when I cried out for help against my depression I was always met with a blow off answer "Just trust Jesus", and I felt like no one was actually going to do something to help me.
August 6, 2015--Thursday
Exodus 17:8-13. These people physically aided their comrade."
I wrote that very angrily.
I was scared and nervous to start at my new school, because I didn't know anyone. In art class, there was a boy named Alex. I was drawn to him and initially thought I might have a crush on him, because you know, when you're drawn to someone, that's usually why.
He was quiet, but seemed kind. One day during a free period during choir, Alex, a guy named Dakota, and myself were talking about churches, and Alex mentioned where he went to church. My family and I had tried to go once, but no one was there, and I told him that. He couldn't figure out why, but oh well.
Then came the musical. Oh, I loved that musical...I still love it, to be honest with you. Kinda miss it.... Alex was playing in the band pit...and it was near the last weeks of practicing. I was really irritated, because practice was on a Sunday, and on Sunday nights we nearly always went to my grandparents'...I had put down on the conflicts sheet that I couldn't do practice on Sundays, and here we were having a practice on Sundays.
Mom and Doug had gone to one church that had church on Sunday night, and once practice was over, I thought, "Hmm, I could go to Alex's church." So I went. I had a longer conversation with his dad that night, than I had had with Alex the entire time I had classes with him. Alex and I have since had longer conversations, including some where I have thrown things at him (he deserved it).
I liked the people there, so as soon as the musical was over, I started going to their church on Wednesday nights. The longer I went, the more I wanted to start going on Sundays too...but I felt held back by the other church I'd been attending with my family. But we wound up switching churches, and they went to one church and I now go to this church, and have been for almost a year now.
In Wednesday church one night, a question was asked about if you died right now, would you go to heaven, and Josh (the leader) looked at me and asked and I looked him point blank in the eye and said, "I don't know." He was shocked, because, as he says, I know my Bible well. Which, I don't know it perfectly or anything, but I do have an odd memory for little tidbits of things, which makes debates and arguments quite nice.
I don't remember quite what all transpired, but we talked a lot, and Josh asked me to come over to his house to talk with him and his wife, and I kind of got hung up on the whole baptism thing. I covered a lot of that in my post about my baptism. The church I had attended when I was young didn't do baptism...or communion.
I decided to get baptized. And...well, you can find all that here.
And...I don't know...some people say that you don't have to be baptized to be saved...and maybe you don't, I guess that that's something you'll have to work out yourself with fear and trembling, but I've never felt so confident in my salvation than I have the past six months.
Doug's even said that he's noticed a change in me in the past six months. I mean, I'm still me...and I guess that's something that I and others need to realize. You change...but you don't change. You still have the same interests...you're just more aware of when your interests don't align with God's...and you can like what you liked before you were saved...but still be a Christian (with some exceptions).
And I'm sure I've mentioned before about actually understanding God's love more now, in my relationship with Jacob. We have the most intimate relationship I have ever been in...even in my friendships. I hold very very little back from him. I can talk about anything with him.
Ever since camp meeting this August...I guess this month...I've kind of felt like I should share my testimony on my blog, so here it is, in its...novel like...glory?
Seriously, if you guys keep up with my insanely long blog posts, you're awesome.
~Katie
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Saturday, April 9, 2016
Let's Get Personal
**WARNING** This may be triggering for anyone who deals with depression, suicidal thoughts, and/or self-harm issues. Please read at your own discretion and if it becomes triggering, please do not continue reading. I do not want to be the cause of someone's relapse.
Now that that's out of the way.
Wednesday night, we were reading in Romans 12 and he picked out verse three. "For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."
He took this verse and said that in today's age, it's all about, "think good about yourself!" but that he believes people should have an accurate self image, which, yeah, they should! But that lead to talking about depression.
He said that if a person is struggling with depression, it is usually because they aren't focusing on God, on Jesus, but on themselves. That was a slap in the face. A knife in the gut. To hear a person that I trust and respect say something like that. Because that is just not true. Maybe in some cases, but not the 99% of depression cases that he went on to say, after I said I disagreed.
But, the more I thought later, the more I realized, "He's just never dealt with depression." Yeah, sure, everyone's been depressed. But what kind of depression? The "Oh, my boyfriend broke up with me" depression that lasts a few weeks? The "Yikes, we don't have enough money for ____" depression that lasts until you get your bills covered? Or the, "I have no idea why, but I feel worthless and alone, like no one really cares" depression that lasts for months...for years.
That last depression...what even causes that, really? I don't know. But I've lived with it pretty much my whole life, hitting really hard when I was around 11-12ish. By my youth pastor's saying, I just quit focusing on God and was focusing only on myself. But that doesn't even make sense! I was reading my Bible every night. I was involved in AWANA. I went to church every Sunday, morning and night! I was focusing on God.
I remember the first time I was depressed all day, and not just for a little bit. I was around twelve and all day long, nothing mattered. I didn't know why. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what, or what to call it. But nothing mattered. It didn't matter what I did, I didn't matter, just nothing mattered. All. Day. Long. I felt that way the entire day. I felt like God had abandoned me. And that was just one day! The only reason I had to believe that God hadn't abandoned me was Hebrews 13:5. "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Didn't make my depression go away....
It only disappeared if I was really busy. That's the only time it really left for any amount of time. I was at youth camp and for the most part I was okay, except for one night. And that was the year I was thirteen. The rest of the years I've went, it's happened a whole lot more.
With my depression, my anxiety, which I've dealt with a lot more severely, although I also didn't know what to call it got worse. If you put those two together, you have basically a very poisonous mixture and it is inside you. You have yourself feeling worthless, like nothing matters, like you don't matter, it doesn't matter what you do it just doesn't matter. Then, on top of that, you have a little voice inside you, whispering to you, telling you "Don't tell anyone! They won't believe you! They won't care! They'll just hurt you!" You have nowhere to go. No one to turn to. That's what your own mind is telling you. Every. Single. Day.
I tried to ask my family for help once. I think I was around fourteen. I posted a blog post on our family blog (closed, so don't even try to look for it), telling how I felt, all but begging for help. Wanna know the response I got? My aunt told me it was just teenage hormones (because they make you go from perfectly fine to begging God to kill you, right?). My grandma told me to just trust Jesus. I wanted to scream, "Can't you tell I'm trying?!" But I didn't. But ever since then, I have never, and will never, go to them for help or support.
I'm eighteen now. I have had depression living in me trying to control me strongly for six years. I've had anxiety that strong for about as long. But when I look back, I was depressed and anxious even when I was little.
When I was 6-7, I was at a church dinner, holding my doll and watching the boys play basketball from between two trees that were great to lean between. My pastor's wife asked me if she could take my picture, because apparently I looked cute and I said sure, because why not. It was a black and white picture and she gave it to my grandparents who still have it. Do you wanna know why I was there? It because I was anxious. I wanted to ask if I could play basketball with them (I had no idea how, and still have no idea how), but I was scared.
I fight almost every day with my anxiety. Thankfully my depression occasionally takes a respite...but it always, always comes back and while it's gone, if it's been gone for a long time, I get scared that it's coming back soon.
It's not because I'm not trusting or focusing on God. If you want to know the truth, he's on my mind quite a lot. Half the time, I have to coach myself through things and pray for help for things that are easy for other people. Like...going up to someone and asking if I can sit by them. Or having someone sit by me. Or deal while people are making weird, repetitive, annoying noises. Or even just having a car drive by me while I'm on my rollerblades!
This isn't a situational thing! Yeah, it gets way worse through situations sometimes, but this, for me, is not a situational thing! This isn't because I'm not trusting God, or focusing on Him! I don't know why this is!
No, I can't fault my youth pastor for not understanding something that he doesn't live with, or that he hasn't dealt with. But I can post about what I go through, and maybe it will help others understand. And just so you know, I have written a letter to give to my youth pastor tomorrow, that has some of this and a few other things in it, so that maybe it will help him understand what "depression" means to someone who lives with it daily.
~Katie
Now that that's out of the way.
Wednesday night, we were reading in Romans 12 and he picked out verse three. "For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."
He took this verse and said that in today's age, it's all about, "think good about yourself!" but that he believes people should have an accurate self image, which, yeah, they should! But that lead to talking about depression.
He said that if a person is struggling with depression, it is usually because they aren't focusing on God, on Jesus, but on themselves. That was a slap in the face. A knife in the gut. To hear a person that I trust and respect say something like that. Because that is just not true. Maybe in some cases, but not the 99% of depression cases that he went on to say, after I said I disagreed.
But, the more I thought later, the more I realized, "He's just never dealt with depression." Yeah, sure, everyone's been depressed. But what kind of depression? The "Oh, my boyfriend broke up with me" depression that lasts a few weeks? The "Yikes, we don't have enough money for ____" depression that lasts until you get your bills covered? Or the, "I have no idea why, but I feel worthless and alone, like no one really cares" depression that lasts for months...for years.
That last depression...what even causes that, really? I don't know. But I've lived with it pretty much my whole life, hitting really hard when I was around 11-12ish. By my youth pastor's saying, I just quit focusing on God and was focusing only on myself. But that doesn't even make sense! I was reading my Bible every night. I was involved in AWANA. I went to church every Sunday, morning and night! I was focusing on God.
I remember the first time I was depressed all day, and not just for a little bit. I was around twelve and all day long, nothing mattered. I didn't know why. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what, or what to call it. But nothing mattered. It didn't matter what I did, I didn't matter, just nothing mattered. All. Day. Long. I felt that way the entire day. I felt like God had abandoned me. And that was just one day! The only reason I had to believe that God hadn't abandoned me was Hebrews 13:5. "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Didn't make my depression go away....
It only disappeared if I was really busy. That's the only time it really left for any amount of time. I was at youth camp and for the most part I was okay, except for one night. And that was the year I was thirteen. The rest of the years I've went, it's happened a whole lot more.
With my depression, my anxiety, which I've dealt with a lot more severely, although I also didn't know what to call it got worse. If you put those two together, you have basically a very poisonous mixture and it is inside you. You have yourself feeling worthless, like nothing matters, like you don't matter, it doesn't matter what you do it just doesn't matter. Then, on top of that, you have a little voice inside you, whispering to you, telling you "Don't tell anyone! They won't believe you! They won't care! They'll just hurt you!" You have nowhere to go. No one to turn to. That's what your own mind is telling you. Every. Single. Day.
I tried to ask my family for help once. I think I was around fourteen. I posted a blog post on our family blog (closed, so don't even try to look for it), telling how I felt, all but begging for help. Wanna know the response I got? My aunt told me it was just teenage hormones (because they make you go from perfectly fine to begging God to kill you, right?). My grandma told me to just trust Jesus. I wanted to scream, "Can't you tell I'm trying?!" But I didn't. But ever since then, I have never, and will never, go to them for help or support.
I'm eighteen now. I have had depression living in me trying to control me strongly for six years. I've had anxiety that strong for about as long. But when I look back, I was depressed and anxious even when I was little.
When I was 6-7, I was at a church dinner, holding my doll and watching the boys play basketball from between two trees that were great to lean between. My pastor's wife asked me if she could take my picture, because apparently I looked cute and I said sure, because why not. It was a black and white picture and she gave it to my grandparents who still have it. Do you wanna know why I was there? It because I was anxious. I wanted to ask if I could play basketball with them (I had no idea how, and still have no idea how), but I was scared.
I fight almost every day with my anxiety. Thankfully my depression occasionally takes a respite...but it always, always comes back and while it's gone, if it's been gone for a long time, I get scared that it's coming back soon.
It's not because I'm not trusting or focusing on God. If you want to know the truth, he's on my mind quite a lot. Half the time, I have to coach myself through things and pray for help for things that are easy for other people. Like...going up to someone and asking if I can sit by them. Or having someone sit by me. Or deal while people are making weird, repetitive, annoying noises. Or even just having a car drive by me while I'm on my rollerblades!
This isn't a situational thing! Yeah, it gets way worse through situations sometimes, but this, for me, is not a situational thing! This isn't because I'm not trusting God, or focusing on Him! I don't know why this is!
No, I can't fault my youth pastor for not understanding something that he doesn't live with, or that he hasn't dealt with. But I can post about what I go through, and maybe it will help others understand. And just so you know, I have written a letter to give to my youth pastor tomorrow, that has some of this and a few other things in it, so that maybe it will help him understand what "depression" means to someone who lives with it daily.
~Katie
Sunday, March 13, 2016
The Fatherless
In church songs I hear, and Bible verses that are quoted, it often instructs the church to care for the widows and the fatherless. Widows = women whose husbands have died. Fatherless = Children (male or female) whose fathers have died. But...sometimes I wonder...do people really care about that? Do people really understand what that means?
In Bible times, a widow had very few options. Remarry as quickly as possible, go into prostitution...die...if they hadn't borne a child by their first husband and he had an unmarried brother, they were to marry that brother and attempt to have children by that brother, in honor of her husband. But the point is, unless a widow had a son to care for her, she was kinda...um...in trouble. Hence why when Jesus is on the cross, he tells his disciple, John, that Mary is now John's mother. In other words: TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER BECAUSE SHE'S A WIDOW AND I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!
Now, someone could look at these scriptures and say that because of all the opportunities there are for a widow and her fatherless children, they don't need to help out anymore. Say what?! Um...no? Does the Bible say, "Take care of the widows and fatherless, UNTIL the 20th-21st century"? Nope. And they still need cared for.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for a single parent (male or female) to care for children? Pretty stinkin' hard, just letting you know.
The role of both mother and father is placed on a widow. She must protect her daughter from dangers and potential boyfriends, teach her how to take care of her changing body, give her food, water, pay for schooling, mother her, and so much more all at once. While doing this, she also has to pay all of the bills herself. Did you catch that? Herself. AND keep up with housework. AND keep up with yard work. Sounds like a pretty heavy load.
As a girl who is half fatherless (I say half, because Doug isn't my dad, but he's not not my dad, and I know full well what it feels like to grow up in a home without a father), I can tell you, it's not easy for the mother OR the daughter. Especially when at times it seems like members of the church care less about helping, and more about telling someone how to run their life.
I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but my mom homeschooled me. She also worked as a bus driver. Do you know why? So that she could have an active part in my life, instead of shipping me off to schools and babysitters, where she would get to see me maybe an hour a day during the week!
But she also had to keep up with housework and yard work. Something many of you may not know about my mom is that she is allergic to grass. Which means mowing is hard to impossible for her to do and remain healthy. That means that it fell on me, because most of the time when she'd ask someone for help, they would say that she could do it, or that I could do it. And yeah, I could do it fine...until one day I tried to mow and I couldn't breathe. Turns out I've inherited my mom's grass issues.
My momma worked her tail off. And I don't think I helped as much as I probably could have and should have.
The thing is...these same church members who didn't seem to care (they may have, it just didn't seem that way), like us a whole lot better now that we have Doug.... So now that they aren't obligated by the Bible to care for us, they like us better. And I just don't get that.
Sometimes, all it takes to help is maybe just coming over and helping clean up, or offering to mow the lawn, or even just talking and being a listening ear can help. I know that there was a family my mom and I visited a lot, and they couldn't help much, but that was my mom's listening ear.
To those of you who are widows/fatherless YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And if you need anything, I will do my best to help. To those of you who have the abilities to help those who ARE widows and fatherless...get up off your butt and actually help them, instead of coming up with excuses as to why they can help themselves.
This rant is over.
~Katie
In Bible times, a widow had very few options. Remarry as quickly as possible, go into prostitution...die...if they hadn't borne a child by their first husband and he had an unmarried brother, they were to marry that brother and attempt to have children by that brother, in honor of her husband. But the point is, unless a widow had a son to care for her, she was kinda...um...in trouble. Hence why when Jesus is on the cross, he tells his disciple, John, that Mary is now John's mother. In other words: TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER BECAUSE SHE'S A WIDOW AND I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!
Now, someone could look at these scriptures and say that because of all the opportunities there are for a widow and her fatherless children, they don't need to help out anymore. Say what?! Um...no? Does the Bible say, "Take care of the widows and fatherless, UNTIL the 20th-21st century"? Nope. And they still need cared for.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for a single parent (male or female) to care for children? Pretty stinkin' hard, just letting you know.
The role of both mother and father is placed on a widow. She must protect her daughter from dangers and potential boyfriends, teach her how to take care of her changing body, give her food, water, pay for schooling, mother her, and so much more all at once. While doing this, she also has to pay all of the bills herself. Did you catch that? Herself. AND keep up with housework. AND keep up with yard work. Sounds like a pretty heavy load.
As a girl who is half fatherless (I say half, because Doug isn't my dad, but he's not not my dad, and I know full well what it feels like to grow up in a home without a father), I can tell you, it's not easy for the mother OR the daughter. Especially when at times it seems like members of the church care less about helping, and more about telling someone how to run their life.
I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but my mom homeschooled me. She also worked as a bus driver. Do you know why? So that she could have an active part in my life, instead of shipping me off to schools and babysitters, where she would get to see me maybe an hour a day during the week!
But she also had to keep up with housework and yard work. Something many of you may not know about my mom is that she is allergic to grass. Which means mowing is hard to impossible for her to do and remain healthy. That means that it fell on me, because most of the time when she'd ask someone for help, they would say that she could do it, or that I could do it. And yeah, I could do it fine...until one day I tried to mow and I couldn't breathe. Turns out I've inherited my mom's grass issues.
My momma worked her tail off. And I don't think I helped as much as I probably could have and should have.
The thing is...these same church members who didn't seem to care (they may have, it just didn't seem that way), like us a whole lot better now that we have Doug.... So now that they aren't obligated by the Bible to care for us, they like us better. And I just don't get that.
Sometimes, all it takes to help is maybe just coming over and helping clean up, or offering to mow the lawn, or even just talking and being a listening ear can help. I know that there was a family my mom and I visited a lot, and they couldn't help much, but that was my mom's listening ear.
To those of you who are widows/fatherless YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And if you need anything, I will do my best to help. To those of you who have the abilities to help those who ARE widows and fatherless...get up off your butt and actually help them, instead of coming up with excuses as to why they can help themselves.
This rant is over.
~Katie
Sunday, February 21, 2016
I'm Where I'm Meant to Be
Today at my night church, we had missionaries from Hungary speaking about their ministry, and naturally, as we do every time we have guests, there was food afterward. A lady at my church asked if I was still attending the Bible School...to which I said no, I am currently attending FHS. She later asked if I miss IBS...and I said "no, not really". She seemed shocked.
Yes, I am happier at my secular school. Let me give you a quick rundown of a few things that would never have happened, had I not begin attending FHS.
Yes, I am happier at my secular school. Let me give you a quick rundown of a few things that would never have happened, had I not begin attending FHS.
- I would never have met Alex.
- Alex never would have told me what church he attends.
- I would never have tried out for the musical.
- I would never have had a practice that entailed me missing my night church.
- Because I never would have missed that night church, I never would have stopped by Alex's church to see how I liked it.
- Had I never stopped by his church to see how I liked it, I never would have found a church to attend on Wednesday night.
- Had I never found a church to attend on Wednesday night, I never would have found my new Sunday morning church.
- Had I never began going to that church, I would not be baptized today.
Sadly, I wasn't getting anything out of my regular morning church. I love the people and talking to them and all that...but I wasn't getting anything spiritual out of my previous morning church. I get a ton out of this church. And that's just one example!
When I switched schools, my stepdad said, "Katie, I feel like you're supposed to be here for someone." Maybe I was supposed to be there for me. Because despite having chapel every day at IBS, I feel closer to God now.
Maybe it's because when you have something every day, it becomes mundane, boring, pointless...but when you have it only a few times a week, it becomes more sacred and special. Who knows why? All I know is my personal experiences.
I've met so many people at this school, and have been part of so many activities that I'm almost positive that I was in more of the activity pictures than students who have been attending the Fredonia district schools their entire life.
It seems that every step I take, God reaffirms that this is where I'm supposed to be and that I'm doing what he wants me to do and I'm grateful for that. I'm so thankful for my church family and I enjoy our youth parties, and banters and Wednesday night Bible Studies that always somehow go off on rabbit trails and wind up with us learning about...well...a great variety of things.
I'm grateful for the friends I've made, and the people that I get to talk to on a regular basis. I'm happy that I get to drag my friend, Kalli, to the library every week or so. I'm happy for the neighbors who have invited me to come visit whenever I'd like.... Quite frankly, I'm happy. I'm very happy with where I am, what I'm doing, and other than like all humans who need to constantly be improving, who I am.
~Katie
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Welp...I Got Baptized
So...as you can tell from the title...I was baptized! On Valentine's Day, actually. Have some pictures:
The church I grew up in...well...they never did baptism, which gave me the impression that it wasn't necessary for salvation. The scriptures we looked at...well...they seemed to say otherwise.
So, after that meeting, I thought for awhile, then when we had a "questions" night, for Wednesday night, I asked to talk about baptism again...so we did.
THEN...after that, I went and asked Pastor Les about being baptized and we sat in his office for over an hour talking about it and looking at scriptures...and we scheduled a meeting with him and his wife for Thursday, around 8:00-8:30.
Thursday came around, and I went over to their house around 8:15...and didn't come home until almost 11:00....
I thought for a bit after that, then on Friday, I messaged both Pastor Les, and Josh's wife, and asked for both of them to baptize me...because, well, they both directed me down that path and I wanted them both to be involved.
And...yeah.... The water was hot. Idk what else to say....
~Katie
This one is right after I came up out of the water. The guy on the right is Josh, my youth pastor, and the one of the left is Pastor Les, the...regular pastor...I'm not sure how to classify him.
This one is later, with Crazy Jenni and a cake they got me (seriously guys, you're way too sweet! :') ) Oh, and it's okay to call her "Crazy Jenni", we talked about this stuff.
Why did I decide to be baptized? Well...it all started long long ago--okay, not that long ago--when I had a meeting with Josh (seen in the first picture) and his wife Abbey. Some of the scriptures we looked at made baptism look like...well...like it's necessary...not optional.The church I grew up in...well...they never did baptism, which gave me the impression that it wasn't necessary for salvation. The scriptures we looked at...well...they seemed to say otherwise.
So, after that meeting, I thought for awhile, then when we had a "questions" night, for Wednesday night, I asked to talk about baptism again...so we did.
THEN...after that, I went and asked Pastor Les about being baptized and we sat in his office for over an hour talking about it and looking at scriptures...and we scheduled a meeting with him and his wife for Thursday, around 8:00-8:30.
Thursday came around, and I went over to their house around 8:15...and didn't come home until almost 11:00....
I thought for a bit after that, then on Friday, I messaged both Pastor Les, and Josh's wife, and asked for both of them to baptize me...because, well, they both directed me down that path and I wanted them both to be involved.
And...yeah.... The water was hot. Idk what else to say....
~Katie
Thursday, January 7, 2016
The New Semester and Decapitation!
Before you ask, no, no one has been decapitated at my school recently...it was just a catchier title than "The New Semester and Wednesday Night Church". Plus, it was shorter.
So...at school, our English teacher retired for personal reasons, which leaves the Juniors and Seniors all messed up class-wise. We've been split up among different classes. We have online classes, classes with the 9th and 10th grade teachers, and then a thing called PBL (Project Based Learning) English.
Of course, I took PBL English...I guess that's kind of unsurprising...I've been homeschooled most of my life, and I tend to learn better when I do things I enjoy doing or learn about things I prefer to learn about...and sometimes I'll learn about other things along the way.
Our first project has been assigned, but the rest we get to choose. Our project is Vikings! Whoot whoot! And from this project, I already know my next project! The Vikings had a game called...um...I'll have to look it up and I'd rather not right now, but, a guy in my class and I are going to do it together. We don't have all the stuff figured out exactly, but I feel like I'm going to do most of the research part and he'll do the physical part where he makes the board and stuff, I'm not sure though...we haven't talked about it, because we're supposed to still be focused on our current project...it didn't work well, but...yeah....
I'm still figuring out my schedule though, because it's been changed. Last semester: it was Biology, Choir, Weights, Peer Tutor, Econ, Art, English, CCR. This semester, it is: Biology, Choir, Peer Tutor, Art, Government, Take Charge, English, and CCR. So, I guess it hasn't changed too much...but it feels like it to me. So far so good. And I'm learning pottery. I stink at it.
So, about the decapitation. We had an interesting conversation after we read through and discussed Romans chapter seven...it was about decapitation! The entire thing started because our youth pastor asked if there were any prayer requests and someone said a prayer request, which made me remember that my cousin, Norma, told me about an Amish buggy getting hit, and that the humans were okay, but that the horses died....
Then, one of the guys said that if the buggy was caught just right, the horses could be decapitated by their bits. Then, the youth pastor told us about these people who saw a deer get decapitated by a vehicle and the head went flying, and other than being headless, the body was perfectly fine...so of course I had to ask how long a human head would retain consciousness after a person was beheaded...which of course led to Jonas saying that he read somewhere about a guy who told his friends to watch him after he was beheaded and see how long he blinked after his head was chopped off and they counted 15 seconds.
And then of course we had to begin factoring if there would be consciousness longer depending on how the head landed. And this was all at church. I really like my Wednesday church.
~Katie
So...at school, our English teacher retired for personal reasons, which leaves the Juniors and Seniors all messed up class-wise. We've been split up among different classes. We have online classes, classes with the 9th and 10th grade teachers, and then a thing called PBL (Project Based Learning) English.
Of course, I took PBL English...I guess that's kind of unsurprising...I've been homeschooled most of my life, and I tend to learn better when I do things I enjoy doing or learn about things I prefer to learn about...and sometimes I'll learn about other things along the way.
Our first project has been assigned, but the rest we get to choose. Our project is Vikings! Whoot whoot! And from this project, I already know my next project! The Vikings had a game called...um...I'll have to look it up and I'd rather not right now, but, a guy in my class and I are going to do it together. We don't have all the stuff figured out exactly, but I feel like I'm going to do most of the research part and he'll do the physical part where he makes the board and stuff, I'm not sure though...we haven't talked about it, because we're supposed to still be focused on our current project...it didn't work well, but...yeah....
I'm still figuring out my schedule though, because it's been changed. Last semester: it was Biology, Choir, Weights, Peer Tutor, Econ, Art, English, CCR. This semester, it is: Biology, Choir, Peer Tutor, Art, Government, Take Charge, English, and CCR. So, I guess it hasn't changed too much...but it feels like it to me. So far so good. And I'm learning pottery. I stink at it.
So, about the decapitation. We had an interesting conversation after we read through and discussed Romans chapter seven...it was about decapitation! The entire thing started because our youth pastor asked if there were any prayer requests and someone said a prayer request, which made me remember that my cousin, Norma, told me about an Amish buggy getting hit, and that the humans were okay, but that the horses died....
Then, one of the guys said that if the buggy was caught just right, the horses could be decapitated by their bits. Then, the youth pastor told us about these people who saw a deer get decapitated by a vehicle and the head went flying, and other than being headless, the body was perfectly fine...so of course I had to ask how long a human head would retain consciousness after a person was beheaded...which of course led to Jonas saying that he read somewhere about a guy who told his friends to watch him after he was beheaded and see how long he blinked after his head was chopped off and they counted 15 seconds.
And then of course we had to begin factoring if there would be consciousness longer depending on how the head landed. And this was all at church. I really like my Wednesday church.
~Katie
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Church Picnic!
I'm going to a church picnic today, and I am positive that it will be awesome. I just really really hope that someone from my school can come, because they're my friend, and another of my friends, who is also from my school, but who I knew since before I started going there is coming too.
The best part of church picnics, is that you get free food. Free food is always a good thing. Always.
And of course another great part is that you get to hang out with friends.
Does anyone reading this know of people who say they're Christians, and yet they sit and talk and gossip about how horrible everyone else is and how much better than them they are?
I think we all know at least one "Christian" like that. It's horrible.
See, there was this man, and somehow him and his wife got divorced, and then he got remarried.
These two women were sitting there, and saying, not in these words, but they were saying, "Ugh, how horrible, he divorced his wife, and now he's getting married. We're so much better than him."
And I was sitting there thinking, "Um, hello, this isn't very Christ-like...Mind changing the topic to maybe...I don't know, how you're gonna witness to him, and help get him back on track?"
And furthermore, what about when those people that "Christians" sit around and gossip about find out all that has been said about them?
They're probably going to think, "Oh...well, if this is a Christian, then I don't want to be one!"
Yeah, and then the gossips wonder why their witnessing doesn't work.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm the poster girl for Christ-likeness. I blow my top too much. Although it can take a while before I get to the top blowing point. Unless you have a major habit of trying to make me mad, in which case it takes a shorter amount of time to blow.
And I'm not saying that I have never gossiped. I try not to gossip. I don't always succeed, but I try. And if I do talk about someone, and are using them as an example, I generally try not to name them.
I do want to say that ranting, hurt, upset talk isn't classified as gossip to me. No it's still not right, but if you're just sticking your nose into everyone's business, and then sneezing all of their secrets and skeletons out to the world, then that's even worse.
I think I may have spoke on this topic before, but well, it's one that I feel strongly about, and I think people need to learn to not gossip. Gossiping is not good, and is not acceptable.
Have I posted a picture of Alana yet? My little vent figure, and daughter? I also have Bridget, who is Alana's big sister.
Alana is 5 (or 6,) and Bridget is 13.
Here's a peek into their personalities.
Alana is sweet, and innocent, (she doesn't know what Mountain Oysters are, and I hope to keep her that way) likes only one guy, is mischievous, and enjoys to pretend to tell people who other people like, she loves people, and church, and well, is just awesome.
Bridget likes a ton of different guys, all at once, in fact, she's liked over 10 guys in the month that she's been alive, she's a flirt, she loves dressing up, and she's sweet too.
I'm starting to think she's gonna end up being a chemo patient.
Those are my babies.
If you want to know what they look like, look up Tessie Talks, and Willie Talks on google. Alana looks like Tessie, and Bridget looks like Willie, but with a wig.
I bought Alana from ebay with my own money, but Bridget I got from one of my second cousins.
They make me happy :)
Well, I hear the thunder rumbling, and I am getting writers itch, (where you must write, or you'll go crazy, the exact opposite from writers block where you can't write no matter how hard you try) Soooo, farewell!
~Katie :)
The best part of church picnics, is that you get free food. Free food is always a good thing. Always.
And of course another great part is that you get to hang out with friends.
Does anyone reading this know of people who say they're Christians, and yet they sit and talk and gossip about how horrible everyone else is and how much better than them they are?
I think we all know at least one "Christian" like that. It's horrible.
See, there was this man, and somehow him and his wife got divorced, and then he got remarried.
These two women were sitting there, and saying, not in these words, but they were saying, "Ugh, how horrible, he divorced his wife, and now he's getting married. We're so much better than him."
And I was sitting there thinking, "Um, hello, this isn't very Christ-like...Mind changing the topic to maybe...I don't know, how you're gonna witness to him, and help get him back on track?"
And furthermore, what about when those people that "Christians" sit around and gossip about find out all that has been said about them?
They're probably going to think, "Oh...well, if this is a Christian, then I don't want to be one!"
Yeah, and then the gossips wonder why their witnessing doesn't work.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm the poster girl for Christ-likeness. I blow my top too much. Although it can take a while before I get to the top blowing point. Unless you have a major habit of trying to make me mad, in which case it takes a shorter amount of time to blow.
And I'm not saying that I have never gossiped. I try not to gossip. I don't always succeed, but I try. And if I do talk about someone, and are using them as an example, I generally try not to name them.
I do want to say that ranting, hurt, upset talk isn't classified as gossip to me. No it's still not right, but if you're just sticking your nose into everyone's business, and then sneezing all of their secrets and skeletons out to the world, then that's even worse.
I think I may have spoke on this topic before, but well, it's one that I feel strongly about, and I think people need to learn to not gossip. Gossiping is not good, and is not acceptable.
Have I posted a picture of Alana yet? My little vent figure, and daughter? I also have Bridget, who is Alana's big sister.
Alana is 5 (or 6,) and Bridget is 13.
Here's a peek into their personalities.
Alana is sweet, and innocent, (she doesn't know what Mountain Oysters are, and I hope to keep her that way) likes only one guy, is mischievous, and enjoys to pretend to tell people who other people like, she loves people, and church, and well, is just awesome.
Bridget likes a ton of different guys, all at once, in fact, she's liked over 10 guys in the month that she's been alive, she's a flirt, she loves dressing up, and she's sweet too.
I'm starting to think she's gonna end up being a chemo patient.
Those are my babies.
If you want to know what they look like, look up Tessie Talks, and Willie Talks on google. Alana looks like Tessie, and Bridget looks like Willie, but with a wig.
I bought Alana from ebay with my own money, but Bridget I got from one of my second cousins.
They make me happy :)
Well, I hear the thunder rumbling, and I am getting writers itch, (where you must write, or you'll go crazy, the exact opposite from writers block where you can't write no matter how hard you try) Soooo, farewell!
~Katie :)
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