My...Testimony?

"My Testimony" feels like such a...generic title...so I didn't really want to use it, but...well...as you can see, I did.  If you're wondering...I guess this will pretty much be telling about my journey to/through salvation.
I grew up in a single parent Christian home, with a mother that worked her butt off to make sure I had everything I needed, and a good deal of what I wanted (I still don't have a giraffe, but that's okay, I'm not dead yet).  I've been going to church since before I was born, and don't know a time when I didn't know the name "Jesus", and not as a cuss word.
When I was little, I knew that you were supposed to ask Jesus into your heart, so when I was probably about three or four, I knelt down at my little toy box and prayed that God would save me, and as far as I was concerned, that was that.
Since I was homeschooled, reading my Bible was part of my curriculum, but I didn't really pray a lot, unless I needed something.  I'm not sure that I was really old enough to understand the gravity of salvation, and had only prayed at my toy box because that's what I knew I was supposed to do.
The denomination that I grew up attending is a very legalistic denomination.  Women are expected to wear skirts below their knees, their hair up in a bun, or other similar updo, the legs should always be covered, even if it's only by panty-hose.  No make up.  No jewelry.  Sleeves below the elbows are best.  Closed toe shoes are also the best.
Granted, some of the best people and the greatest prayer warriors I know come from that denomination, yet at the same time, some of the worst "Christians" I've ever met have come from that denomination.  I've been witness to several of them bashing Pokemon, without actually learning anything about it, outside of what articles they find that already coincide with their own thinking (totally other rant).  I've also been given dirty looks just for wearing my TARDIS dress...so....  However, like I said before, also some of the best people I've ever met have attended churches in that denomination.
When I was younger, I was pretty strong in my faith, I think.  I wasn't always doubting.  But the older I got, the more I questioned, which, I suppose is natural enough.
As I've mentioned before, my dad has never been around, and I honestly doubt that he wanted or loved me a lot of the time.  I could be wrong, but...who knows.  If my earthly father wasn't around and didn't want or love me, why on earth would my HEAVENLY father, who knows better want or love me?
I am a bit of a people pleaser.  I like to make people happy.  I hate it when people are mad or upset with me.  As such, I'm always worried about whether or not people are mad at me, and yes, I've often been terrified of not being good enough for God, despite this being a salvation through faith, rather than works.  I knew that works went along with faith, and I was always worried I wasn't doing enough.
I believe it was...two...Christmases ago, one of my uncles had somehow found some people on YouTube, who came up with reasons why modern Christians should be following the Old Testament laws as well.  That was the catalyst.
I struggled enough before.  How could I do anything now?  I was overwhelmed.  I didn't know all the laws...I still don't.  I love bacon!  Which, I mean, of course, bacon is nothing compared to the grand scheme of things...but...still...bacon.  Of course, that wasn't the biggest thing, it was just...I was paralyzed.  Spiritually paralyzed.
I struggled between trying hard to follow the Old Testament laws, and just giving up.  Then roughly a year later...I say roughly, because I honestly can't remember...I got a boyfriend.  That's great, right?  Not really.  It became an abusive relationship, and while I knew that God wanted us to break up, and I knew I needed out, but again, I felt paralyzed, and I had no idea how to get out...I just didn't.
I didn't read my Bible on a regular basis (and was only able to get back into it because of Bible reading plans on my Bible app), I rarely prayed...I just...I didn't know anymore.
I was also going to a Christian school at the time, and it wasn't good for me.  I was working at the daycare just down the street, and my hours had been cut to oblivion after the director I first started working under retired.  I went from working from out of school to close every night to working one night...if I were lucky.
One day I just...I guess I just knew.  I had given up and there was no point in trying.  I think it was around April.  I couldn't go to anyone for help.  I didn't even know how to formulate what was wrong and put it into words.
Sometime during that, I also felt like it was okay to leave that school.  Because of issues with administration Doug, my stepdad, had been trying to get me to quit and go to the public school down the street for half of forever, but each time I felt like I needed to stay.  So I stayed.  But I felt like I could leave now, and be okay.  So I did.
Of course, like I mentioned in previous blog posts, the principal kept trying to get me to stay...and boy am I glad I didn't.  He told me that he wanted me to graduate from the right school...and I'm very glad that he felt that way, and I'm sure he prayed that I would graduate from the right school (thinking it was his, undoubtably) and I can tell you now...I DID!!!
Then my boyfriend broke up with me right before a church camp we were both going to.  I went until Thursday night without breaking down and crying...but then I just broke down.  Jacob was and is what held me together during that entire thing.
This entire time, I didn't feel like God would want me back or love me or anything like that, but I did try some.  I kind of read the Bible every once in awhile, not as regularly (every night) as I once had...but...still.  I remember going to camp meeting and being so angry when someone told about Aaron and...someone else holding up Moses' arms when he couldn't anymore...because the times when I cried out for help against my depression I was always met with a blow off answer "Just trust Jesus", and I felt like no one was actually going to do something to help me.
August 6, 2015--Thursday
Exodus 17:8-13.  These people physically aided their comrade."
I wrote that very angrily.
I was scared and nervous to start at my new school, because I didn't know anyone.  In art class, there was a boy named Alex.  I was drawn to him and initially thought I might have a crush on him, because you know, when you're drawn to someone, that's usually why.
He was quiet, but seemed kind.  One day during a free period during choir, Alex, a guy named Dakota, and myself were talking about churches, and Alex mentioned where he went to church.  My family and I had tried to go once, but no one was there, and I told him that.  He couldn't figure out why, but oh well.
Then came the musical.  Oh, I loved that musical...I still love it, to be honest with you.  Kinda miss it....  Alex was playing in the band pit...and it was near the last weeks of practicing.  I was really irritated, because practice was on a Sunday, and on Sunday nights we nearly always went to my grandparents'...I had put down on the conflicts sheet that I couldn't do practice on Sundays, and here we were having a practice on Sundays.
Mom and Doug had gone to one church that had church on Sunday night, and once practice was over, I thought, "Hmm, I could go to Alex's church."  So I went.  I had a longer conversation with his dad that night, than I had had with Alex the entire time I had classes with him.  Alex and I have since had longer conversations, including some where I have thrown things at him (he deserved it).
I liked the people there, so as soon as the musical was over, I started going to their church on Wednesday nights.  The longer I went, the more I wanted to start going on Sundays too...but I felt held back by the other church I'd been attending with my family.  But we wound up switching churches, and they went to one church and I now go to this church, and have been for almost a year now.
In Wednesday church one night, a question was asked about if you died right now, would you go to heaven, and Josh (the leader) looked at me and asked and I looked him point blank in the eye and said, "I don't know."  He was shocked, because, as he says, I know my Bible well.  Which, I don't know it perfectly or anything, but I do have an odd memory for little tidbits of things, which makes debates and arguments quite nice.
I don't remember quite what all transpired, but we talked a lot, and Josh asked me to come over to his house to talk with him and his wife, and I kind of got hung up on the whole baptism thing.  I covered a lot of that in my post about my baptism.  The church I had attended when I was young didn't do baptism...or communion.
I decided to get baptized.  And...well, you can find all that here.
And...I don't know...some people say that you don't have to be baptized to be saved...and maybe you don't, I guess that that's something you'll have to work out yourself with fear and trembling, but I've never felt so confident in my salvation than I have the past six months.
Doug's even said that he's noticed a change in me in the past six months.  I mean, I'm still me...and I guess that's something that I and others need to realize.  You change...but you don't change.  You still have the same interests...you're just more aware of when your interests don't align with God's...and you can like what you liked before you were saved...but still be a Christian (with some exceptions).
And I'm sure I've mentioned before about actually understanding God's love more now, in my relationship with Jacob.  We have the most intimate relationship I have ever been in...even in my friendships.  I hold very very little back from him.  I can talk about anything with him.
Ever since camp meeting this August...I guess this month...I've kind of felt like I should share my testimony on my blog, so here it is, in its...novel like...glory?
Seriously, if you guys keep up with my insanely long blog posts, you're awesome.
~Katie

My After High School Plans

If any of you have ever been a high school senior or a high school graduate, I'm sure you've been asked over and over and over and over...and OVER... "So...what are your plans after high school?"  And, "What are you doing next year?"  And, "Have you decided what you're going to be out in the real world?"
Well, for one, calling life after high school the "real world" is ridiculous, but that's for another rant/blog post.  And for two...getting asked those questions over and over and over and over and over and over and--oops, got stuck typing the same thing...gets annoying.
SO!  To answer that question, I have decided to take to my blog.  And if you read my blog...please don't ask me again in person!  I'm begging you!
My plans for after high school:
I will be attending a college in an undisclosed location in order to become a bear.  My major will be in hibernation, with a minor of circus bear.
This college is one of the top bear colleges in the USA and is highly recommended by graduate Smoky Bear, a wildlife preserver, known for his saying, "Remember, only you can prevent wildfires."  They have many classes, ranging from History of Bears, Bears Around the World, Bears in Bible Times, Beary Berry Picking, Salmon Fishing, Salmon Selling...and on and on and on.
Besides classes, they have several different majors.  Hibernation, Fishing, Circus Bear, Bear Fighter, Wildlife Preservation Bear...and the list continues.
I am currently waiting for my paperwork to come back.  I am getting a free ride with the "Most Imaginative Mind" scholarship.
However, if I ever get tired of my chosen major and minor, I may return to a human college, where I plan to major in education.  Most likely elementary and/or special.  I will of course take a music class, because I love music.
My minor is still undecided, but probably not underwater basketweaving.
So, there you have it.  That is my plan for after high school!
~Katie

Let's Get Personal

**WARNING** This may be triggering for anyone who deals with depression, suicidal thoughts, and/or self-harm issues.  Please read at your own discretion and if it becomes triggering, please do not continue reading.  I do not want to be the cause of someone's relapse.


Now that that's out of the way.
Wednesday night, we were reading in Romans 12 and he picked out verse three.  "For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."
He took this verse and said that in today's age, it's all about, "think good about yourself!" but that he believes people should have an accurate self image, which, yeah, they should!  But that lead to talking about depression.
He said that if a person is struggling with depression, it is usually because they aren't focusing on God, on Jesus, but on themselves.  That was a slap in the face.  A knife in the gut.  To hear a person that I trust and respect say something like that.  Because that is just not true.  Maybe in some cases, but not the 99% of depression cases that he went on to say, after I said I disagreed.
But, the more I thought later, the more I realized, "He's just never dealt with depression."  Yeah, sure, everyone's been depressed.  But what kind of depression?  The "Oh, my boyfriend broke up with me" depression that lasts a few weeks?  The "Yikes, we don't have enough money for ____" depression that lasts until you get your bills covered?  Or the, "I have no idea why, but I feel worthless and alone, like no one really cares" depression that lasts for months...for years.
That last depression...what even causes that, really?  I don't know.  But I've lived with it pretty much my whole life, hitting really hard when I was around 11-12ish.  By my youth pastor's saying, I just quit focusing on God and was focusing only on myself.  But that doesn't even make sense!  I was reading my Bible every night.  I was involved in AWANA.  I went to church every Sunday, morning and night!  I was focusing on God.
I remember the first time I was depressed all day, and not just for a little bit.  I was around twelve and all day long, nothing mattered.  I didn't know why.  I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what, or what to call it.  But nothing mattered.  It didn't matter what I did, I didn't matter, just nothing mattered.  All.  Day.  Long.  I felt that way the entire day.  I felt like God had abandoned me.  And that was just one day!  The only reason I had to believe that God hadn't abandoned me was Hebrews 13:5.  "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."  Didn't make my depression go away....
It only disappeared if I was really busy.  That's the only time it really left for any amount of time.  I was at youth camp and for the most part I was okay, except for one night.  And that was the year I was thirteen.  The rest of the years I've went, it's happened a whole lot more.
With my depression, my anxiety, which I've dealt with a lot more severely, although I also didn't know what to call it got worse.  If you put those two together, you have basically a very poisonous mixture and it is inside you.  You have yourself feeling worthless, like nothing matters, like you don't matter, it doesn't matter what you do it just doesn't matter.  Then, on top of that, you have a little voice inside you, whispering to you, telling you "Don't tell anyone!  They won't believe you!  They won't care!  They'll just hurt you!"  You have nowhere to go.  No one to turn to.  That's what your own mind is telling you.  Every.  Single.  Day.
I tried to ask my family for help once.  I think I was around fourteen.  I posted a blog post on our family blog (closed, so don't even try to look for it), telling how I felt, all but begging for help.  Wanna know the response I got?  My aunt told me it was just teenage hormones (because they make you go from perfectly fine to begging God to kill you, right?).  My grandma told me to just trust Jesus.  I wanted to scream, "Can't you tell I'm trying?!"  But I didn't.  But ever since then, I have never, and will never, go to them for help or support.
I'm eighteen now.  I have had depression living in me trying to control me strongly for six years.  I've had anxiety that strong for about as long.  But when I look back, I was depressed and anxious even when I was little.
When I was 6-7, I was at a church dinner, holding my doll and watching the boys play basketball from between two trees that were great to lean between.  My pastor's wife asked me if she could take my picture, because apparently I looked cute and I said sure, because why not.  It was a black and white picture and she gave it to my grandparents who still have it.  Do you wanna know why I was there?  It because I was anxious.  I wanted to ask if I could play basketball with them (I had no idea how, and still have no idea how), but I was scared.
I fight almost every day with my anxiety.  Thankfully my depression occasionally takes a respite...but it always, always comes back and while it's gone, if it's been gone for a long time, I get scared that it's coming back soon.
It's not because I'm not trusting or focusing on God.  If you want to know the truth, he's on my mind quite a lot.  Half the time, I have to coach myself through things and pray for help for things that are easy for other people.  Like...going up to someone and asking if I can sit by them.  Or having someone sit by me.  Or deal while people are making weird, repetitive, annoying noises.  Or even just having a car drive by me while I'm on my rollerblades!
This isn't a situational thing!  Yeah, it gets way worse through situations sometimes, but this, for me, is not a situational thing!  This isn't because I'm not trusting God, or focusing on Him!  I don't know why this is!
No, I can't fault my youth pastor for not understanding something that he doesn't live with, or that he hasn't dealt with.  But I can post about what I go through, and maybe it will help others understand.  And just so you know, I have written a letter to give to my youth pastor tomorrow, that has some of this and a few other things in it, so that maybe it will help him understand what "depression" means to someone who lives with it daily.
~Katie

God's Love

I was going to go to bed, but no, I brushed my teeth, and the mint invigorated me and a thought that's been floating around in my head for forever was finally like, "Katie, you have got to write that like...now...I don't care how late it is, write it.  It'll never come out right if you try to write it later", so here I am.
Let's start at the beginning...like...the very beginning.  My dad.  My dad was barely around when I was little.  He missed visits.  There is documented proof that he missed visits, because there are pictures in the scrapbook of my grandparents taking me to the park, because my dad didn't show up for his visit.  Looking back, I really appreciate them doing that.  Then he died when I was four...so there was no more chance of visits.
There are people who say that children, male or female, who grow up without a father figure, or with an abusive father figure, often project that onto God...which makes sense, as he is our Heavenly Father.  Now I'll go on a bit, before I hit my main point.
I haven't had the best of experiences with males.  Of my exes, only one of them treated me well before, during and after our relationship...the rest were close to abusive, if not abusive, manipulative, or just ignored me during our relationship, because, "there's less to talk about when you're dating."
And now we come to my current boyfriend.  Jacob.  When I went through my last breakup...he was there for me.  If he hadn't been there, I'm not sure I would have ever recovered from the relationship at all.  Not the breakup, because that was the best part of the relationship, but the actual relationship.
Later, when my ex from that breakup got jealous and said that I was trying to steal his friends (our mutual friends that he had introduced me to, Jacob included), they all left.  Except for one.  Jacob stayed.  He was there when I was crying because Tyler wouldn't even message me back.  He was there for me when I was upset because Josh refused to even talk about what was going on.  He stayed.
He's my best friend.  He accepts me the way that I am...strong, weak, brave, scared, weird, normal (I'm not normal, so forget that).  Sure, he makes fun of me...but that's because we're friends and we tease each other.  Yeah, I still glare at him.
How does any of this tie into God's love?
Like I mentioned earlier, people say that how a child views their father is how they view God.  When I was younger, I always thought, "Wow, I'm lucky, I'm not like that!"  But the older I get, the more I realize that is how I view God.  I have to be good...I have to make sure I never make him mad, or disappoint him, because then he might leave me.  He might get tired of me.  He'll view me as something he doesn't want or need.  Why would he need me?  There are plenty of other people in the world.  Hey, I bet some of them are even redheads named Katie!
To protect myself for when I do disappoint him, because I know I will, I close myself off from him and refuse to fully let myself feel his love.  His eternal, unending, everlasting love.  I do that, because if I don't let myself feel it...it won't hurt when he withdraws it.  The human mind is screwed up, just sayin'.
But...when I talk to Jacob...when I annoy him by saying sorry too much, he doesn't leave.  When I forget to text back, he doesn't get mad.  When we disagree, he doesn't abandon me.  When I'm scared  or sad, he supports me.  And do you want to know something?  I don't understand it!  I have no comprehension of the kind of love he shows me.  I'm used to being a temporary part of people's lives...something that they can easily remove if it ever gets too hard to be my friend...or someone who is easy to drift away from.
The more I look at our relationship, and our love, especially his love toward me...the more I look at God and go, "Wait, is this what our relationship is supposed to look like?"  And I can guarantee you, if the Bible is accurate, God loves me a whole lot more than Jacob does!  I've also heard that the romantic relationship between a husband and a wife is supposed to kind of be an analogy of a person's relationship with God and I know that Jacob and I aren't married, but we're the closest I've ever been to marriage.
In my dating, romantic relationship...I'm learning about God's love...by the way my boyfriend loves me.  The way he treats me.  His kindness.  His gentleness.  And even though I sometimes have a hard time accepting my boyfriend's love (just ask him), he's showing me the way God loves me...and I'm learning.  I'm learning to open up to the fullness of, not just Jacob's love, but God's love.  And I will be forever thankful for that.
~Katie

I Don't Eat Brownies

Yeah, you read that right.  I don't eat brownies.  No, I don't have a chocolate allergy.  No, I don't dislike them, but I don't eat them.  I also don't eat chocolate cake.  I have nothing against these two things, or anyone who likes and/or eats them.  But I myself don't eat them.  Why?  Am I crazy?  Yes, but that's not what's influencing this.
When I was...oh, I don't know, around nine, ten at the most, I had bought and eaten a big piece of chocolate cake/brownie from WalMart, while my grandma was taking me to go pick up my cousin Norma, so we could hang out...and on the way there, I felt sick.  Too much chocolate cake/brownie.  I felt like I was going to hurl.
I'm pretty sure that no one likes to puke...but I can't handle it at all.  It's...it's really bad.  I was laying in the backseat, because I felt so sick.  I don't have motion sickness and the food I ate was the only thing that could have caused that.  In my despair, I started praying, "God, please don't let me puke!"  Then, I took it a bit further, "God, if you keep me from puking, I won't eat anymore chocolate cake or brownie!"
Maybe that was a stupid promise on my part.  But it was a promise.  And it was a promise to God.  I don't know about you, but if you make a promise, you'd better keep it...and if you make a promise to God, you'd better double keep it!
Well, I didn't puke.  And I was extremely relieved by that.  And, because of the promise I made, I don't eat chocolate cake or brownies.  Had I puked, I would still eat chocolate cake and brownies, because...well...I like chocolate cake and brownies.  I really do.  But I don't eat them, because I made a deal with Someone, and since they held up their end of the deal, I'm holding up mine.
Yeah, you can say, "Oh, but you were just a little kid!"  ...your point?  "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no" (Matthew 5:37) makes no allowances for if you're 1-12, or 12-100...it's the same no matter your age, last I checked.  I knew full well what I was doing.  I knew what I was promising.  And I still made that promise, still made that deal.
When we were back at my grandparents', I told my aunt...and do you know what she told me? "What, until next week?"  Don't ever do that.  Ever.  If any Christian, young or old, comes to you and tells you that they've made a promise to God, no matter how outlandish it may sound, ENCOURAGE THEM.  Say, "Okay, that's great.  I'm going to hold you to that."  Don't say, "What, 'til next week?"  Because that hurt.  A lot.  And if you tell someone that, especially if they're young and/or a young Christian, you're acting like a promise to God doesn't matter...and a promise, especially to God, does matter.
I haven't eaten chocolate cake or brownie since that time, except for once, when I had marble cake and didn't manage to get all of the chocolate parts picked out.  Once.  And not on purpose.
I also don't eat Ramen Noodles, but that's for a whole different reason, that's for another blog post.
~Katie

I'm Where I'm Meant to Be

Today at my night church, we had missionaries from Hungary speaking about their ministry, and naturally, as we do every time we have guests, there was food afterward.  A lady at my church asked if I was still attending the Bible School...to which I said no, I am currently attending FHS.  She later asked if I miss IBS...and I said "no, not really".  She seemed shocked.
Yes, I am happier at my secular school.  Let me give you a quick rundown of a few things that would never have happened, had I not begin attending FHS.

1. I would never have met Alex.
2. Alex never would have told me what church he attends.
3. I would never have tried out for the musical.
4. I would never have had a practice that entailed me missing my night church.
5. Because I never would have missed that night church, I never would have stopped by Alex's church to see how I liked it.
6. Had I never stopped by his church to see how I liked it, I never would have found a church to attend on Wednesday night.
7. Had I never found a church to attend on Wednesday night, I never would have found my new Sunday morning church.
8. Had I never began going to that church, I would not be baptized today.

Sadly, I wasn't getting anything out of my regular morning church.  I love the people and talking to them and all that...but I wasn't getting anything spiritual out of my previous morning church.  I get a ton out of this church.  And that's just one example!

When I switched schools, my stepdad said, "Katie, I feel like you're supposed to be here for someone."  Maybe I was supposed to be there for me.  Because despite having chapel every day at IBS, I feel closer to God now.

Maybe it's because when you have something every day, it becomes mundane, boring, pointless...but when you have it only a few times a week, it becomes more sacred and special.  Who knows why?  All I know is my personal experiences.

I've met so many people at this school, and have been part of so many activities that I'm almost positive that I was in more of the activity pictures than students who have been attending the Fredonia district schools their entire life.

It seems that every step I take, God reaffirms that this is where I'm supposed to be and that I'm doing what he wants me to do and I'm grateful for that.  I'm so thankful for my church family and I enjoy our youth parties, and banters and Wednesday night Bible Studies that always somehow go off on rabbit trails and wind up with us learning about...well...a great variety of things.

I'm grateful for the friends I've made, and the people that I get to talk to on a regular basis.  I'm happy that I get to drag my friend, Kalli, to the library every week or so.  I'm happy for the neighbors who have invited me to come visit whenever I'd like....  Quite frankly, I'm happy.  I'm very happy with where I am, what I'm doing, and other than like all humans who need to constantly be improving, who I am.

~Katie

Welp...I Got Baptized

So...as you can tell from the title...I was baptized!  On Valentine's Day, actually.  Have some pictures:

This one is right after I came up out of the water.  The guy on the right is Josh, my youth pastor, and the one of the left is Pastor Les, the...regular pastor...I'm not sure how to classify him.

This one is later, with Crazy Jenni and a cake they got me (seriously guys, you're way too sweet! :') )  Oh, and it's okay to call her "Crazy Jenni", we talked about this stuff.

Why did I decide to be baptized?  Well...it all started long long ago--okay, not that long ago--when I had a meeting with Josh (seen in the first picture) and his wife Abbey.  Some of the scriptures we looked at made baptism look like...well...like it's necessary...not optional.
The church I grew up in...well...they never did baptism, which gave me the impression that it wasn't necessary for salvation.  The scriptures we looked at...well...they seemed to say otherwise.
So, after that meeting, I thought for awhile, then when we had a "questions" night, for Wednesday night, I asked to talk about baptism again...so we did.
THEN...after that, I went and asked Pastor Les about being baptized and we sat in his office for over an hour talking about it and looking at scriptures...and we scheduled a meeting with him and his wife for Thursday, around 8:00-8:30.
Thursday came around, and I went over to their house around 8:15...and didn't come home until almost 11:00....
I thought for a bit after that, then on Friday, I messaged both Pastor Les, and Josh's wife, and asked for both of them to baptize me...because, well, they both directed me down that path and I wanted them both to be involved.
And...yeah....  The water was hot.  Idk what else to say....
~Katie

To the Girl Who Criticized my Attire

So, awhile back (a really long while back, actually), some friends of mine told me what a girl that I had believed to be my friend was saying about me and my clothes.  Apparently, she wonders why I "dress like this all the time".
For most of you that know me in person, you've kind of picked up on the fact that I wear skirts pretty much all the time.  And by "pretty much", I mean all the time.  At least in public.  So...what's wrong with that?
To the girl who criticized my clothing...why couldn't you ask me yourself?  In fact, I believe I told you while we were sitting together in the same classroom, and if I wasn't telling you, I was telling a teacher and you could have easily heard.
To begin with, that's how my mother was raised and that's how she raised me.  Is that my only reason?  Absolutely not.  I feel more comfortable in skirts.  And yes, I can do everything that you can do in your leggings, in my skirts.  No, I'm not too hot in the summer.  Yes, I'm too cold in the winter, but that's because winter is too cold, it has nothing to do with my skirts.
Perhaps I could ask you why you always wear pants.  I don't believe I've ever seen you in a skirt, except for special occasions.  Why is that?
Let me state something now: Skirts are traditional female attire.  Pants are traditional male attire.  Why are you questioning me for constantly wearing something that is traditionally something a woman would and should wear?  Shouldn't it be the other way around?
Why do you of all people care what I wear?  Yes, I know, I don't always dress fashionably.  Sometimes I just don't care.  Sometimes you just don't care.  We just dress differently when we have our lazy days.
You wear leggings to school.  I wear skirts.  Is this a problem?
I don't like guys staring at my butt.  So why would I wear clothing that would frame my butt?  Because guess what...no, guys shouldn't stare, but we all know that at least some of them will.  Is that okay?  Uh...no, but they're gonna do it anyway.  I mean, murder isn't okay, but some people still do it.
And please don't bring up that guys can look up my skirt.  Why am I going to stand over their head and give them access to look up my skirt?  And if a guy pulls up my skirt to take a look, I can kick him and/or punch him if I need to.  Also, I wear shorts under my skirts in the summer and leggings underneath them in the winter....  It's no different than you wearing spandex underneath your cheer skirt.
Also, why did I wear a jacket over my women's ensemble dress?  Because, I don't care to have my shoulders showing.  And as to the person you were talking to, who said I wasn't supposed to do that...all of the girls were there when we picked out the dresses, and Mrs. Fischer said that if we wanted to wear jackets over them, we were welcome to do so.  If that girl wasn't there when we picked out dresses, for whatever reason, that's her own fault and she doesn't need to be saying I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be.
In short...why do you care what I wear?  What I wear doesn't affect you in any way shape or form and if it does, I'm sorry?  I'm sorry I wear things I feel comfortable, even if it's not "fashionable"?  I'm sorry that you feel the need to talk to other people about my clothing?  I'm sorry that my dressing in a way that I feel comfortable and modest makes you unhappy?  Everyone knows I'm all about pleasing others...constantly...of course....  No seriously, I can be a bit of a people pleaser, but I'm not changing myself to make others happy.  I am sorry that I have displeased you, oh great one, you shall see me in leggings when hell freezes over.  The end.
~Katie

My First Basketball Game!

Okay, so no, I haven't seen a basketball game at all, until yesterday night....  I've been to one football game and that was because I was working concessions...and also...I only saw the tail end...where we did actually win!
But, anyway, I was at the basketball game last night, because I have been promoted to Select Singers (elite singing group at my school), because they needed more altos, so I'm singing alto.  I usually sing soprano, but I enjoy singing alto in church...so...not too different.  Oh and the reason why four Select Singers (counting myself), were there, was because we were singing the national anthem.  We sang accapella and I have heard lovely compliments about us.
So, about the game, I sat on the enemy bleacher side, because Dakota (I may have mentioned a Dakota previously, but not this Dakota.  This Dakota is a girl, and...not the other Dakota....) was filming it for the live stream and the only other person she had up there with her was the vice principal, who was acting as the announcer.  And he really does have a very good announcer voice!  I was impressed.
I feel like we annoyed a few people, because we were cheering with the student section from the other side of the gym, but hey, we gotta show our school spirit!  And hey, I've decided to share some things I learned during my first basketball game!

1. People get way too involved...like...they think that everyone is the rep sometimes!
2. Things that look like they should be legal...aren't....
3. And things that look like they shouldn't be allowed...are?!  
4. There is a lot more falling down than I anticipated.
5. It seems to be more of a contact sport than it's made out to be.
6. Those umpires have got to be in fantastic shape, because they're running all over the court, keeping up with the action and the players and they NEVER SEEM TO GET WINDED.
7. It has got to take a lot of dedication to be a coach....
8. Each player only gets five fouls.
9. It is hard for me to tell what a foul is....

So yeah...basketball....

~Katie

The New Semester and Decapitation!

Before you ask, no, no one has been decapitated at my school recently...it was just a catchier title than "The New Semester and Wednesday Night Church".  Plus, it was shorter.
So...at school, our English teacher retired for personal reasons, which leaves the Juniors and Seniors all messed up class-wise.  We've been split up among different classes.  We have online classes, classes with the 9th and 10th grade teachers, and then a thing called PBL (Project Based Learning) English.
Of course, I took PBL English...I guess that's kind of unsurprising...I've been homeschooled most of my life, and I tend to learn better when I do things I enjoy doing or learn about things I prefer to learn about...and sometimes I'll learn about other things along the way.
Our first project has been assigned, but the rest we get to choose.  Our project is Vikings!  Whoot whoot!  And from this project, I already know my next project!  The Vikings had a game called...um...I'll have to look it up and I'd rather not right now, but, a guy in my class and I are going to do it together.  We don't have all the stuff figured out exactly, but I feel like I'm going to do most of the research part and he'll do the physical part where he makes the board and stuff, I'm not sure though...we haven't talked about it, because we're supposed to still be focused on our current project...it didn't work well, but...yeah....
I'm still figuring out my schedule though, because it's been changed.  Last semester: it was Biology, Choir, Weights, Peer Tutor, Econ, Art, English, CCR.  This semester, it is: Biology, Choir, Peer Tutor, Art, Government, Take Charge, English, and CCR.  So, I guess it hasn't changed too much...but it feels like it to me.  So far so good.  And I'm learning pottery.  I stink at it.
So, about the decapitation.  We had an interesting conversation after we read through and discussed Romans chapter seven...it was about decapitation!  The entire thing started because our youth pastor asked if there were any prayer requests and someone said a prayer request, which made me remember that my cousin, Norma, told me about an Amish buggy getting hit, and that the humans were okay, but that the horses died....
Then, one of the guys said that if the buggy was caught just right, the horses could be decapitated by their bits.  Then, the youth pastor told us about these people who saw a deer get decapitated by a vehicle and the head went flying, and other than being headless, the body was perfectly fine...so of course I had to ask how long a human head would retain consciousness after a person was beheaded...which of course led to Jonas saying that he read somewhere about a guy who told his friends to watch him after he was beheaded and see how long he blinked after his head was chopped off and they counted 15 seconds.
And then of course we had to begin factoring if there would be consciousness longer depending on how the head landed.  And this was all at church.  I really like my Wednesday church.
~Katie

My 2015?

Not like this is a few days late or anything, but eh.
My 2015...oh my.  So...I made some new friends, lost some fake friends, cemented some enemies, had some fights, had some heartbreak, had some laughs, had some ice cream...a lot, actually.  I plan to add some pictures later this week, no promises.
Schoolwise....  Well, I got highest GPA for my Junior class, and attended the Junior/Senior Banquet, which had, of course, good food, and fantastic decorations (as done by the Juniors).  I switched from a private school to a public school.  I was a lead in my school's fall musical.  I've been in Scholars Bowl and have placed at every meet we had...one meet we even placed first and I was so happy!  I auditioned for District Choir...didn't make it, but my teacher left me a sweet note, letting me know that she saw and was proud of my effort.  Made it through the first semester of my Senior year with all As and NO ABSENCES!  BAM!  (Sorry, excited).
Family-wise...of course we had Thanksgiving and Christmas (I GOT PURPLE PJS WITH A KITTY ON THEM!!!).  I went to the birthday parties of my cousins.  Went on a trip to Colorado with my cousin, Mom and Stepdad.  My non-biological, non-legal brother Donny came down to visit for The Fourth of July.
Friend-wise.  I started playing League of Legends and have met so many people through there.  Some of my best friends.  But...yeah...I've made new friends.  Kalli, Victoria Jenica, Dakota, Shelby...another Shelby, Wolfie, Kyle, Kyle, George, Jacob, Tyler, Alex, Mr. Barnett, Alli, Jesse SO MANY FRIENDS.  Not all of those are from League...and a few of them aren't really my friends anymore...but some of them I'm really close to.  Like...Jacob, Wolfie, Kyle, Kalli.  I'm close to my other friends too...but not that close.  These four people, I could basically tell anything.  And I have told them a lot of things.  Actually, I could probably tell any of these people anything...I just choose not to, because...ya know, a girl's gotta have some secrets.
Personally...got a boyfriend, lost a boyfriend, blogged a bit, made some people mad (not on purpose, it's just that some people get mad when I voice my opinion on my blog).  Joined a few Facebook groups and left the same Facebook groups.  Grew a bit and shrunk a bit....
Pet-wise!  I got two baby boys!  Poro and Tinker.  They are my babies.  I love them so much.  They are definitely adorable.  I plan to keep them until either I or they die.
Spiritually...grew some, shrunk some, but it's always, always a battle and even if you're at your peak, there is always further you can grow.
I'm sure there's a lot of other things too, that would maybe be a bit better thought out...but...there we have it...my year?
~Katie

Interesting Discussion on Facebook....

So...I had an interesting discussion with a girl on Facebook today, after she posted this picture:

Beneath the picture, it read as follows:

My comments on her post, as I did not agree in the least?  She responds...  I respond.

She responds...I respond....

She deletes the entire post, because she has no responses.  I already screenshot everything.  I did however blank out her name, so no one knows who she is.  

One thing I would like to say, completely unrelated to this specific topic is that I really wish that Facebook had an italics option...I mean seriously, it has everything else!

But anyway, yeah, this was my interesting discussion that I had on Facebook!  Anyone got anything to say on the topic?

~Katie

**EDIT** I would like to say that one thing I did actually agree with her on is when she said "There are so many people that are so close to us that think about suicide and we have no idea about it.".  I did agree with that.

My Evening

My evening was well spent.  I went to a party at my Wednesday night church, with the youth group and we ate food (MAN WAS IT GOOD!!!) and played a few...interesting...games, including a game of Sit-down-in-a-circle-on-chairs Keep Away!  We also did some painting.

The boys did this one.  They did all the graffiti-ish stuff, but the word "Jesus" was already painted, but the brown around, one of the boys did.  Other than that, they did the "graffiti" stuff.  There were...four boys working I think.  Maybe five.  I think there were five.  A, K, R, C, C...five.  There were five boys working on it.

We girls were working on this one.  It's still not done.  We have a lot more detail than the boys though, because they were basically given free range to do whatever they wanted, we have more lines to follow.  I did all of the green, part of the blue and purple, and some of the rusty orange part.  There were two other girls working on it with me, and I must say, we did a fantastic job!

Then I came home and did this on my Facebook:

I seem to have a very eclectic taste in music. Here's metal, and goofy music, along with theme music, rock, possibly pop, country...so.... That's a thing. I won't tag anyone, just do it if you want.

1. Put your music player on shuffle
2. For each question press the next song
3. You must write the name down even though it sounds silly
4. Tag 20 friends
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing
6. Have fun!!
IF SOMEONE SAYS "ARE YOU OKAY?" You say?
Here it Goes Again.
BEST DESCRIBES YOUR PERSONALITY?
Kim Possible Theme Song
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Hallelujah
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
The Llama Song.
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Teenagers.
WHAT IS YOU LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Don't Bring Me Down
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Phantom of the Opera
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
End the End.
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Welcome to my Nightmare
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Eye of the Tiger
WHAT IS 2+2?
You're Gonna go Far Kid (clean)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR EX/BOY/GIRL/BESTFRIEND?
Striper the Kitty
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
This is the Moment
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sweet Child O' Mine
WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Wrecking Ball
WHAT DO YOU THINK/HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Reflection
WHAT WILL YOU DO AT YOUR WEDDING?
The Curse of the Sad Mummy
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Ain't no Rest for the Wicked
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Joker and the Thief in the Night
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Human
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
The Broken One
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Jim Bridger
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Girl Crush
WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Radioactive
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Wrecking Ball (again?)
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
All I Want for Christmas is You
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Hero (that song actually does make me cry....)
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
The Sound of Silence (evidently not....)
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
I Will Survive
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Bet on It (Well den)
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Storytime
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Hurt (shockingly descriptive)
WHAT WOULD YOU WANT TO SAY TO THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU?
Wake Me Up When September Ends
WHAT BROUGHT YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER?
I Gotta Key
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA TITLE THIS AS?
Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold.

And that was my night!

~Katie

Moving...again....

So...I'm moving.  Again.  I've moved four times in my entire life.  Five if you count the hospital.  From my grandparents' to a duplex down the street, from the duplex to a house, from that house to a trailer behind my aunt's house in a different town, from the trailer to my stepdad's house and now we're moving again.  To another house.  That used to belong to my stepdad's sister.  Whee.
If you were wondering, I'm not too fond of moving...not my favorite thing to do.  If I ever get married, I'll have to make sure to marry a guy who doesn't like moving either and we can just live together in the same house until we die.
Lately, I've been packing things a bit and today I moved some of them downstairs.  I still have stuff to pack and move.  I've also come to the conclusion that I have way too many clothes.  When we get moved to the other house, I plan to look through my clothes and decide what I absolutely have to keep.  The sentimental clothes for sure, and then the stuff that I wear often, then the rest, I guess I'll just have to put up on Facebook or give to a thrift store or something.  The only thing I know I don't have too much of is books and sharp objects.  You can never have too many of those.
At this new house, I will have the entire upstairs to myself, as well as a "caboose" that's out front.
The caboose is pretty much just a playhouse that my stepdad's nieces used to play in.  I will be turning it into a "Geek Out Station".  I will pain the outside either white or black, then decorate it with color and stuff like that.  We're going to get better doors on it and turn the stairs into spirally type stairs.  There's a porch on the back and we're going to close it in partially and use the closed in part for a storage shed.  Currently, the inside is pink.  I hate pink.  It is in bad need of being re-sheetrocked, so we're going to do that, give it a tin roof, and I'm strongly considering putting cork board on all the walls.  I'll take pictures eventually, so y'all know what I'm talking about when I say putting this there and that in the other place.  I'm probably going to paint the walls blueish-green.  Then, the ceiling I'm going to paint light blue from the edges to black in the middle and hang little glow in the dark stars from the center beam.  The floor will probably just be wooden.  On the inside part of the outside door, I'm going to put all manner of things Narnia that I can.  I will have a little cabinet to put copies of my books in, to take with me when Mom and Doug go to selling places, so I can sell some of my books (hopefully).  There will also be a bookshelf that I'll be putting my filled up sketchbooks and other art supplies on.  I think we're going to find a way to get light and warmth out there and basically, it will be my...well...geek out station!
In the upstairs, I'll have my room, a guest-room, an office/living room and a bathroom!  I'll have to take pictures of the upstairs as well.  I have really big plans for it.  Now I just need to get my friends to come over and spend the night!  Of course, if they're my female friends, they'll sleep in my room...it's my male friends that would be stuck into the guest room.
I'd really like to get a small couch for my living room/office, so if anyone knows of a small couch that they don't want and would be willing to give away or sell for...really cheap...I'd appreciate it if you'd let me know.  Thank you!
Also, you may have noticed that there are now labels on my blog posts!  I figured out how to do that and went back and labelled every single post I've ever made.  So...that might help y'all if you're trying to find something in specific.  Lata!
~Katie

Scholar's Bowl

So, on Thursday, we had a Scholars Bowl meet.  I really enjoy them, because I love trivia.  But I just decided I had to share some stories about this one.
Basically, for those of you who have never been in Scholars Bowl or who know little to nothing about it, there are many teams who go to a host school and are pitted against each other in various rooms.  There are up to five people on each team and often, each person will specialize in a topic.
You are taken to a room with a reader, a scorekeeper, a timekeeper, and a buzzer-keeper....  The reader will read a question and if you think that you have the answer, you will...well...buzz in.  You wait to be acknowledged, then answer.  If you get it correct, your team gets ten points.  If you get it wrong, the only team allowed to answer the question is the opposite team.  If you interrupt the reader, and get it wrong, you are docked points and the next team is free to buzz in with an answer or interrupt the reader as they reread the question from the beginning, with no consequences if they answer incorrectly.  If you get it correct, you get ten points, as usual.
It was the very last round and we were against a team to win first place.  Around question five, the enemy team interrupted and got it wrong.  Then, our team interrupted and also got it wrong.  Both teams were docked five points.
At the very last round, we were tied.  35 to 35....  It was time for a tie-breaker question.  Then, the enemy team coach said, "Hold up, I looked in the rules, and you shouldn't have docked them.  It should be their team 40, my team 35."  And because of her honesty...we won.
Call me stupid, crazy, whatever...I really wanted to get first place.  All the other meets I'd gone to, we placed third and I just really wanted to place first.  Really bad.  So I was praying that we'd win first...and because of her honesty not only did we win first, but she got acknowledged at the end with the awards, because my team's coach told the officiator guy.  I also told her thank you.  It would have been so easy for her to have just let them read the tiebreaker question and her team could have one off of that.  But she was honest...and that cost her team the match.  They did get second, overall though.
Then, we went to Freddie's for some food.  I um...forgot to take money....
We have two people on our team, Reed and Ryan, and their parents come to every match.  Kind of the way my mom and stepdad come to all my choir and singing things.  They said that because we won first, they were going to treat everyone to supper!  Their dad wouldn't even let me get a mini shake...he made me get a large...which is still in my freezer...sitting...with just enough to make up a mini shake gone from it...because I couldn't finish it....
But the entire time we were at Freddie's I was just all like, "God...thank you so much!  You're just looking out for me all over the place!"  In short, that was the best Scholars Bowl meet I've ever had and one of the best days of my life.

~Katie

Goodness!

My goodness, it's been forever since I've regularly blogged!  So...let's try a recap of the past year up until this point....

January--New Year, obviously...trying to remember specific things that happened that I want to share...not really any...actually....  That could have been when new management took over at the daycare I was working at, I'm not sure.  I suppose I could go get my journal and check, but I haven't been journalling regularly either.  Ahh, after reading back posts, I remember the most duh thing of all...I got my own computer!  Which I still use.
February--I'm kinda in the same boat with this month as well, I guess.  I've been focusing mostly on these recent months and working on school and things like that.  My back posts don't help any with this, because it was merely musings.  How in the world am I supposed to know things and little details that happened during this time period, if I don't write it down??  Again, I probably did in my journal.
March--...Okay, I'm not good at this....
April--I believe that this was the month that I felt a peace about switching schools.  It was also the month of the Junior/Senior Banquet, where my cousin Andrew (who is now at boot camp :'( ) took me, because he's a sweetheart.
May--I was one of the flag bearers (grrr, I iz scary bear) at the graduation, which was lovely, as most graduations are.  I also went to my uncle's niece's graduation and was favorably impressed by the school building and all dat.
June--I started Driver's Ed and either June or May I started playing League of Legends...if you want a life, don't start playing!  I met Mr. Barnett, who is also now one of my favorite teachers.  I also went to Abilene-not-in-Abilene-anymore Youth Camp, although I think I enjoyed it more my first year.
July--Makin' new friends through League all over da place--THAT'S A SHOUT OUT TO YOU WOLFIE!...and everyone else, but I talk to Wolfie the most....
August--Eep, school started!  I was so nervous and initially, she had me in the alto section, but said that if we thought it was the wrong place, just let us know, so I did and I am now where I belong with my high notes and all that jazz.
September--Auditions for the musical and I got the part of Olive, which I was secretly wanting really badly, but not wanting to say.
October--Hey, that's this month!  I think we did auditions for solos this month, but it could have been in September, near the end, and concert, which was awesome.  I had two solos (one I was really nervous and I wasn't angling my head right, so I sounded kinda pitchy) and had a blast doing them.
Now, let's see if maybe I can possibly post once a week or something.  Once a day is a little overkill...after all, you know, school, homework, things of that nature....  But, there's a recap of my year thus far!
~Katie

Update on New School!

Alright, so, if you've been reading my blog, you know that I had been attending a private Christian school and am now attending a public school...and man, let me tell you something.  I love my new school.  Love.  With an L.  And and O.  And a V.  And an E!  Not eros...maybe philia...but...love.  Yes.
When I went from being home schooled to going to the private Christian school, I made a pros/cons list about them.  Perhaps I should do the same here?  I think I'll put it in a post right after this one, that way this one doesn't get completely swamped, because there's a bunch of stuff I would like to cover here.
If I had continued attending IBS, I would have to take Algebra 2...because for some reason, my Freshman year, I was forced to take Consumer Math, yet it was counted as an elective, although I had no choice in taking it, therefore, it was not recognized by IBS as a math credit.  Here at this public school, they recognized it for what it was: a math credit.  Therefore, I do not have to sit in Algebra 2 every day this year.  Which really leads to a much less stressful school year!
I am also one of the lead roles in my school musical, which is called the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.  There are some parts of it I don't care for, some parts that are going to be changed, and some parts (many parts) that are funny.  My name is Olive and I am very shy and my only friend is a dictionary. One song that I sing for the Musical.  Please feel free to come watch!  It's the 20th and 21st of November.  If you need directions or anything, contact me!  And just a heads up, any cussing in the songs I post on facebook or on my blog, will not be in our production.  The cussing is in the original/"professional" version and will not be used in the highschool reproduction that we are doing of it.
I may not have a ton of friends at this new school, but thus far, my experiences at this school can be summed up in these two pictures that my stepdad posted on facebook:

I had a pros/cons list written out, but then I copied something else and completely lost it, so I'll have to rewrite it later on.
I also had found out that a teacher (whom I admired) told the principal, in front of my stepdad, that I would be back after three weeks at this public school.  This is the beginning of the fourth week and there is no way I am going back.  I was also told by a fellow student, when I visited before my school had started, that I would hate public school.  I love it.  People don't know me as well as they think they do.  And I hate that they think they do.  But too bad!  :D
~Katie

Update!

Basically, with this post, my last two posts on my blog have been about how I am switching schools.  This makes a third.  This...is an update!  To read the initial breaking of the news, click this link: I Am Moving On.
I figured that there would be people who wouldn't want me to leave and people that wouldn't care if I left and people who would want me to leave.  I also figured that there would be people who didn't want me to leave and would try to shove down my throat that I had to stay.  And there were.
There have been people that I was quite surprised with, because they took it well and accepted the fact that it was my decision to make and my decision alone.
My friends aren't happy about me leaving and I understand that.  I will miss them greatly.  And I have some teachers that don't want me to leave and will tell me they are going to kidnap me and make me stay...but they aren't serious about kidnapping me...I hope.  However, my principal...
Here is a whole paragraph for my principal.  My principal came to me one day and told me that he thought I needed to come back.  He has told me that I need to come back, because I will be valedictorian.  I am aware that unless certain members of my class shaped up, I would indeed have valedictorian in the bag.  Listen closely people...very closely; valedictorian isn't the most important thing about school.
Here is another whole paragraph for my principal.  He also, at one point, when I told him that if he wanted me to come back, (is that two appositives??) he would need to talk to God about it, because I would not feel this much peace, if God was not on board with this, told me that he and God were on the same page.  Same page does not equal same book.  He proceeded to tell me that when God starts something he finishes (I agree) and when he puts someone at the Bible school, they are there to finish (I do not agree)!
However, there are some problems with what he said.  The scripture he was 'quoting' says this:

"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:"~KJV

Yes, when God starts something, he finishes it.  What he is talking about starting, in this scripture, is the good work.  I am an author, therefore, what I write is my 'good work.'  But I do not always finish the good work in the same place I start it.  Plus, I know that there have been people kicked out of that school.
But, off of the topic of my principal....
Today was my stepdad's niece's graduation, which we went to, of course.  It was at the school I will be attending next year, so I got to have a tour of it!  It is...well...huge compared to the school I'm presently going to!  The lockers?  I could fit in them.  It's pretty cool.  There will probably be several updates to my update.
I'm hesitant to say this, because I know that there are some people that will jump all over me and say that this is a reason for me not to switch schools...but I am nervous.  People will tell you that I'm outgoing...but I struggle with communicating with people I don't know, that I will be seeing nearly every day.  I just do...so, naturally, I'm scared about making friends.  I mean, quantity of friends doesn't matter, but it would be nice to have one or two friends, that are, preferably, not just the teachers.
This school will be bigger than any other school I have ever gone to.  This is actually going to be giving me the unique experience of having gone to three of the four main types of schools; homeschool, private, charter, public.  I feel honored.  I think.
Anyway, in order to keep people from jumping on me about my nerves being a sign: people are also often scared when they go into the mission field.  Case closed.
~Katie

Thank You

I just wanted to take this moment to say thank you to everyone who is respecting my decision of switching schools.  Thank you.

I Am Moving On

Most of you know that I have been attending a private Christian school for the past three years.  I am now a Junior.  This will be my last year attending this school.  Next year, my senior year, will be spent attending the public school in my town.
Why?  Why leave a Christian school, with good teachers and wonderful students, to go to a public school with all those bad influences?  Why leave a Christian school where I have Valedictorian in the bag?  Where I have some friends?  Why make my friends go through next year without me?  I have many reasons.
One of my reasons, is that my step-dad doesn't go into the town my school is in every day, and my cousin, the person my mom is a PCA (Personal care assistant) to, has moved out of that town and my mom will be going to her new town.  I don't have my license or a car yet and honestly, I'm not sure that I want to drive that far every day, by myself.
Another, is, I no longer feel like I need to stay.  Even a week ago, if you had told me I would be 100% okay with going to the public school barely down the street from me, I would have raised my eyebrow, looked at you, and said, "Are you crazy?  I have friends here!  I gotta go on senior trip with my classmates!  Think about Senior pranks!  You are off your rocker!"  But now, I am okay with it.  Honestly, I think I was supposed to be there for a girl who is now also switching schools and going to a different public school.
A third reason is that I have more opportunities at a public school.  Volleyball team, track, drama, a big choir, possibly more writing competitions, I could go to state competitions with my singing....  At the school I will be attending: Seniors can leave for an open lunch; students can eat pretty much wherever they want; there's a circle of lockers and benches, that is for Seniors only; they have a gym complete with punching bags and weights, for the students to go to even after school.
Will I miss anything at my current school when I switch schools?  Yes.  I will miss most of the teachers (the ones I have in classes mostly), Jessica, Angela, and sometimes I might miss Gavyn, but I'm not sure, I will definitely miss my Bible classes and my geography class, although next year, I will be taking government instead of geography.  I'll miss traveling with my group and my little choir and hitting all the high notes Mr.  Miller gives me.  I will miss going to ISAAC Rally, and I'll miss being part of the programs.
But I feel like this is the right thing for me to do right now.  My principal was telling me just yesterday, that it's a long time between now and August.  My principal doesn't know me.  My mind has been made up.  My principal was also telling me, today, that he wants me to graduate from the right school.  So do I.  And I feel like this is the right school for me to graduate from.  If it wasn't, I wouldn't just be a bit sad because of all I said I would miss or a little nervous because I know no one, I would be upset.  I wouldn't feel good about it.  I would feel sick.  I don't.  I feel like this is right for me.  I'm sorry if anyone doesn't agree, but not everyone has to graduate from a Christian school.
Also...as my choir teacher said last year in his PR speech, "If the salt never gets out of the salt shaker, what good is it doing?"  It's time for me to get out of the salt shaker.
~Katie :)