The Fatherless

In church songs I hear, and Bible verses that are quoted, it often instructs the church to care for the widows and the fatherless.  Widows = women whose husbands have died.  Fatherless = Children (male or female) whose fathers have died.  But...sometimes I wonder...do people really care about that?  Do people really understand what that means?
In Bible times, a widow had very few options.  Remarry as quickly as possible, go into prostitution...die...if they hadn't borne a child by their first husband and he had an unmarried brother, they were to marry that brother and attempt to have children by that brother, in honor of her husband.  But the point is, unless a widow had a son to care for her, she was kinda...um...in trouble.  Hence why when Jesus is on the cross, he tells his disciple, John, that Mary is now John's mother.  In other words: TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER BECAUSE SHE'S A WIDOW AND I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!
Now, someone could look at these scriptures and say that because of all the opportunities there are for a widow and her fatherless children, they don't need to help out anymore.  Say what?!  Um...no?  Does the Bible say, "Take care of the widows and fatherless, UNTIL the 20th-21st century"?  Nope.  And they still need cared for.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for a single parent (male or female) to care for children?  Pretty stinkin' hard, just letting you know.
The role of both mother and father is placed on a widow.  She must protect her daughter from dangers and potential boyfriends, teach her how to take care of her changing body, give her food, water, pay for schooling, mother her, and so much more all at once.  While doing this, she also has to pay all of the bills herself.  Did you catch that?  Herself.  AND keep up with housework.  AND keep up with yard work.  Sounds like a pretty heavy load.
As a girl who is half fatherless (I say half, because Doug isn't my dad, but he's not not my dad, and I know full well what it feels like to grow up in a home without a father), I can tell you, it's not easy for the mother OR the daughter.  Especially when at times it seems like members of the church care less about helping, and more about telling someone how to run their life.
I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but my mom homeschooled me.  She also worked as a bus driver.  Do you know why?  So that she could have an active part in my life, instead of shipping me off to schools and babysitters, where she would get to see me maybe an hour a day during the week!
But she also had to keep up with housework and yard work.  Something many of you may not know about my mom is that she is allergic to grass.  Which means mowing is hard to impossible for her to do and remain healthy.  That means that it fell on me, because most of the time when she'd ask someone for help, they would say that she could do it, or that I could do it.  And yeah, I could do it fine...until one day I tried to mow and I couldn't breathe.  Turns out I've inherited my mom's grass issues.
My momma worked her tail off.  And I don't think I helped as much as I probably could have and should have.
The thing is...these same church members who didn't seem to care (they may have, it just didn't seem that way), like us a whole lot better now that we have Doug....  So now that they aren't obligated by the Bible to care for us, they like us better.  And I just don't get that.
Sometimes, all it takes to help is maybe just coming over and helping clean up, or offering to mow the lawn, or even just talking and being a listening ear can help.  I know that there was a family my mom and I visited a lot, and they couldn't help much, but that was my mom's listening ear.
To those of you who are widows/fatherless YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  And if you need anything, I will do my best to help.  To those of you who have the abilities to help those who ARE widows and fatherless...get up off your butt and actually help them, instead of coming up with excuses as to why they can help themselves.
This rant is over.
~Katie